Returning Home
by CircleSky
Summary: Rory/Jess. The events after 'Teach Me Tonight' and after 'I Can't Get Started' from Jess's point of view. The story follows the show up until the Season 2 finale but, from that point on, becomes AU. Please Read and Review!
1. Part 1 1 : Uprooted and Lonely

This is an R/J fan fiction piece written from Jess's point of view and interspersed with dialog directly from the show. Takes place immediately after 'Teach Me Tonight' and extends beyond the Season 2 finale, at which point I totally made up the plotline. This story may already be a little out of date, seeing as how people are already writing fiction based on spoilers from Season 3. But hey, this is the story that I want to tell.

There's some mild swearing, particularly in the beginning, but it's not too bad.

Spoilers: The end of Season 2: 2.19 'Teach Me Tonight', 2.20 'Help Wanted', 2.21 'Lorelai's Graduation Day' and 2.22 'I Can't Get Started'. 

Refers, ever so briefly, to 2.10 'The Bracebridge Dinner', 2.12 'Richard in Stars Hollow', 2.13 'A-Tisket, A-Tasket', 2.15 'Lost and Found', 2.16 'There's the Rub' and 2.17 'Dead Uncles and Vegetables'.

I, of course, do not own the Gilmore Girls characters, or the portions of the plotline which I took from the show's transcripts.

Feel free to review. I'd appreciate it. This is the first story I've ever written.

***

RETURNING HOME, PART ONE

CHAPTER ONE. UPROOTED AND LONELY

***

Jess saw Luke approaching him on the bridge even before he heard the heavy footsteps fall on the wooden planks. "I made sure she was OK," Jess croaked.

"I know you did," came Luke's fatigued response as he sat down next to Jess, legs dangling just above the shimmering water.

"How'd you find out?" Jess inquired.

"Lorelai came in looking for you."

"She hates me I assume."

"I didn't say that."

"She hates me I assume," Jess reiterated.

Luke sighed then and confessed. "She's got a pretty good hate on, but it'll clear up when she cools down."

"How's Rory? Did she say?"

"Ahh… she's got a fractured wrist."

"Oh. Shit." Jess dejectedly tossed his dwindling cigarette into the lake and reached for his pack to start on another one.

***

Jess walked around his apartment – _Luke's_ apartment, it wasn't Jess's any more – picking up items he would take with him to New York. He could only take the most important things. Luke would have to send the rest out later. It was the second time Jess had been uprooted in roughly six months.

Luke was on the phone again, trying to call up his sister, Jess's mother. "Come on, pick up. Why aren't you home?" he muttered.

"Don't worry about it Luke."

"Well she should know you're coming. She can pick you up from the station."

"I'll manage. I know the way." Jess had just placed his stereo in a duffel bag and was padding it with his clothes. Finishing that, he began to flip through his CDs looking for his favourites.

"I wish you wouldn't leave tonight."

"You said it was for the best." From the way Luke had been acting, Jess was pretty sure Luke was only sending him away to appease Lorelai. Luke loved Lorelai and Lorelai wanted Jess gone.

"Well… It probably is for the best, but if you're going to go, you should wait till tomorrow."

"I'm going now. There's another bus tonight." Now Jess was packing his books. Although he wanted to take all of them, he only took certain paperbacks. He would have to lug all this stuff around a long way tonight and didn't want to add to the load too much.

Luke was sitting on the couch watching him. "You know, a car accident is not the end of the world."

_Tell that to Lorelai_, Jess thought. He had just walked into the bathroom, looking for his comb and toothbrush. He pretended he couldn't hear Luke.

Half an hour later Luke was seeing Jess off at the bus station. "Call me to let me know you got home safe. Alright Jess?"

"Right." He couldn't imagine Luke asking that with sincerity. He'd kicked Jess out for a would-be lover, just like his mother had done before. Wishing his uncle would just go back home, Jess placed his duffel bag in the cargo hold of the bus and threw his backpack over his shoulder. "Well see ya."

"Bye Jess," Luke replied as Jess stepped onto the bus.

Once inside, Jess surveyed the scene and chose a seat near the back. He sat beside the window and tossed his backpack on the seat next to him. With any luck, no one would sit next to him. When the bus pulled away from the depot some 15 minutes later, Jess sighed. In three and a half hours he would be home. He bunched up his jacket, placed it in the crook of his neck and tried to get some sleep.

***

Jess woke up some 45 minutes later when the bus stopped in Bridgeport, Connecticut. The lights came on and people were bustling about, getting bags from the overhead bins. It was just a quick stop but he had a chance to hop out, buy some chips and have a smoke with the other addicts. Jess had quit smoking in the previous weeks, but now he was back at it.

Fifteen minutes later, they were once again cruising down the highway. The bus was more full; there was a man sitting next to Jess now, reading the Wall Street Journal with an overhead light. Jess turned away from him as best he could in the seat and stared out the window. Already the landscape looked more populated as they left Stars Hollow behind. He watched the other vehicles outside his window. Some the bus passed; others passed the bus by. _Even at this late hour, there's a lot of traffic out there; all those people going on with their lives. It's as if they don't know that everything is falling apart._

***

A good two hours later, Jess stuck the key in the lock and jiggled it for a while. There was a certain trick to opening this deadbolt and after six months away, it took him a moment to get it right. He picked up his bags and swung the door open with his foot.

"Ah! Shit!" He yelled when he looked up. The person on the other side of the door yelled the same thing.

There was his mother, standing tensely with a hand on a kitchen knife, pointed right at him. "What the hell? Dammit Jess! You scared me! What are you doing here?" she demanded. 

Jess, relieved he hadn't gotten slashed, pushed past her with his bags and she followed him down the hall. 

"What are you doing here?" she asked again, seeming calmer now. 

"I got my bags. What the hell does it look like?" he looked at her finally. He'd said it more loudly and sarcastically than he'd intended to. He watched that old familiar rigidity creep into her shoulders and eyebrows. _Dammit!_ He was always screwing things up. Now his mother was going to yell at him again. Well he wouldn't let her. He strode into his room and slammed the door in her face.

Tossing his bags in the corner, he turned the light on and sighed. Same old room. How depressing. His mother was trying to open his door as she knocked on it, but he'd already secured it with the latch he himself had installed, years before, just to keep her out.

Surprisingly, she stopped knocking and moved away from the door, eliminating his need to hook up his stereo and drown her out. _It was good_, he thought uncharacteristically, _because who needed music anyway?_ And he sure as hell didn't feel like unpacking. He turned off his light again and flung himself on the bed.

He lay there in the darkness for a while, feeling dead inside. In a while, he heard the voice of his mother through the paper-thin walls. She was talking to Luke on the phone, he guessed. Now she would know all about the accident. _Damn accident_.

He knew she would come to his door again, and she did. He pulled his old blanket over his body - clothes, shoes and all. When she knocked and called him louder, he pulled the blanket over his head and tried to fall asleep.

***

The next few days were much of the same. Jess avoided his mother as best he could. Though she'd tried incessantly to get his attention, he'd barely said two words to her. Jess would hide out in his room until his mother's inquiries into his private life got too obnoxious. Then he would walk out on her and take his depression and self-loathing with him to the park.

Jess, in fact, had barely spoken to anyone in days. Thus far, he hadn't even bothered to contact his friends; hadn't felt like throwing himself back into life in the Village. Doing so would mean putting the time he spent in Stars Hollow behind him, and Jess didn't feel like ignoring, just yet, how his time in the tiny community had changed him. 

Most of all, he just felt like sitting there in his darkened room and reading or thinking about Rory. Both activities, however, would now usually upset him; reading made him think of Rory anyway. He preferred to think about the good times – the times when he'd thought he had a chance with her – but the accident kept creeping into his brain. 

It was on the sixth day that he heard it. As he was lying on his bed in the dimness of the early evening, he heard a muffled sound through the wall. _Shit_, he thought. He'd never heard his mother crying before. For a good 10 minutes he tried to block it out of his mind, tried to concentrate on his book. He turned up his stereo, which he'd eventually gotten around to hooking up. But still he thought of his mother. _She's crying cause of you, you jackass_, he thought to himself.

Finally he couldn't stand it. He just couldn't _stand_ it. With a grunt of exasperation, Jess turned out his penlight, closed his book and threw his blanket off of him onto the floor. He unlatched and flung open his door and stomped the short distance to her bedroom. 

From there, he could hear her sniffling still, but she wasn't outright crying anymore. Realizing she was calmer was almost enough to turn him right around again, and send him back to the shelter of his unlit room, but for some reason he found himself knocking on his mother's door. The sniffles got louder but more controlled as she came closer to the door. He just stared at her once she opened it. He was expecting to feel some sort of hatred at the sight of her. But she just looked small and frail, and his heart softened a little bit.

He sighed then and, all of a sudden, in a bizarre twist of fate, found her arms around him. She was hugging him with all her might. With a start, he realized it must have been six years or more since the last time his mother had hugged him. What was even more surprising, however, was the fact that it felt comforting. In his confused state, Jess pried himself out of her arms and asked her if she wanted any coffee. It had slipped out of his lips before he realized she never drank the stuff. It was Rory who did.

"No thanks, Sweetie," she replied wiping unruly tears off of her cheeks, a tentative smile tugging at her lips.

Jess raised an eyebrow. She'd called him 'Sweetie'? Now that was _really _weird. It had been at least _twelve_ years since she'd done _that_. 'Boy!' or 'Jess Anthony Mariano!' were usually more her speed. Actually, she looked a little surprised that she'd said it herself.

"How about I make us some soup?" she questioned, again slightly out of character. 

_Soup? _Oh well, at least she was trying. And he _was_ a little bit hungry, having not eaten since that afternoon at the hotdog stand. When he nodded, she guided him down the hall and began bustling around the kitchen. He'd never seen her bustle in a kitchen in his life. Out of force of habit, he began clearing off the dinner table. It was a habit that he'd only developed since working at Luke's diner. They eyed each other warily; as they each continued doing things the other had never seen them do before.

They ate in silence of course. He sure as hell didn't know what to say to her. But, for the first time in a long time, it wasn't a hostile silence.

"How are you doing Jess?" Her gentle words were like gunfire cutting through the stillness of the room. He nearly jumped out of his skin.

Clearing his throat, he replied "I've been better, Liz." His reply was meant to bring them closer, but his calling her by her first name was meant to keep the distance intact. He didn't know why he was always driving them apart.

She just smiled though, as if the fact that they were finally talking meant the world to her. It would have disgusted him if he hadn't been so lonely during the past few days. Though he tried to keep it in, he felt impelled to speak again. "You heard about the car accident, I assume."

She had, but she asked him about it anyway and despite her intrusion into his private matters, he relayed the details. He even alluded to how good things were going with Rory, before he smashed her car and broke her wrist. He got a little choked up at that part.

Slumping his shoulders and resting his free hand on the table, he half-heartedly stirred the soup in front of him. It was actually pretty good soup, although he wouldn't exactly call his mother a homemaker just yet. He jumped again when she placed a hand over his. It was a comforting gesture but it made him wonder what aliens had taken over her body. For once though, no sarcastic remarks sprang to his lips.

She asked him more about Rory, but he couldn't speak about her. She accepted his speechlessness and just looked at him knowingly, a gesture which unnerved him. Had he revealed his feelings for Rory?

He found himself asking her how she was doing. _Anything to get the subject off of Rory_, he supposed. She began to describe how she was getting her life back on track for the first time since his father had run out two years earlier. 

She lit up a cigarette. Jess watched. Liz tended towards the same health-nut lifestyle as Luke lived by; Jess wondered how she had ever picked up smoking. Holding out the pack of smokes, she offered him one too. She queried, "You still smoke?"

"Not sure."

She looked at him quizzically. "You don't know?"

"Luke had me on this non-smoking regimen."

"Sounds like Luke."

"I'd kicked it. But I started again the other day."

"After the accident?"

"Yeah."

"Well you shouldn't start again. Geez! Look at me; I'm your mother and I'm offering you a cigarette? What is wrong with me?"

"I don't even feel like one anyway. Maybe I should quit for good."

"Maybe I should too. Filthy habit." She didn't put out her cigarette though. 

"I guess you've noticed that Lonnie hasn't been around since you've been back." She was referring to the latest man she'd run around with after Jess's father left.

As a matter of fact Jess hadn't noticed the absence of Lonnie; he'd been too wrapped up in his own world, too busy locking himself in his room. Jess just stared, waiting for her to get to the point.

"Well I stopped seeing him a couple of weeks ago." 

"Good," Jess interjected. "I never liked that jackass." Lonnie hadn't liked Jess either. He'd thought Jess too much of a troublemaker, and had willingly shared this opinion with Liz. That was how Jess found himself in Stars Hollow in the first place; Lonnie had brought it up. Jess was just a little bit bitter on the issue. Maybe Jess had been a troublemaker, but sending him away shouldn't have been Lonnie's decision to make. 

Ignoring the harshness in his comment, she continued. "Yeah, turns out he was a jackass, although I didn't find out until much later." Her matter-of-fact voice went on. "Anyway, I never should have taken his word over yours, Jess. I'm sorry."

Jess just nodded and looked back down at his bowl of soup. She continued telling him about her life, and for once he sat and listened to what she was saying. "I've been taking a pottery class at the community college. It's to kill time basically, although I do enjoy it. It helps me to clear my head."

She flicked some ash into the ashtray and went on "And pottery keeps me out of trouble. Keeps me away from jackasses like Lonnie. I sure know how to pick 'em." 

She laughed while he smirked. All at once, Jess realized they hadn't spoken at all during the entire time he'd been staying with Luke, not that they'd spoken much before that. In the last couple of years, her boyfriends, come and go as they might, had taken up most of her time. What little time Liz had for Jess had been wasted when Jess would walk out on her. 

It shocked him to realize, he was enjoying her company.

"I guess we could all use something to keep us out of trouble," he revealed. 

"Now that I've gone and told you all about my sorry love life, what about you? Tell me more about Rory," she'd begun prying again, gone too far.

Jess scowled. _Again she brings up Rory!_ Only a few short moments before, Jess had felt comfortable with his mother. Now as Jess sat at their little round kitchen table, he felt claustrophobic. He could no longer remember what his relationship with his mother was supposed to be. Standing up abruptly, his thigh bumping the table in his haste, he put his finished bowl in the sink and asserted, "Gotta go." 

When she asked him where he was going, those same old feelings of annoyance crept back into him. Deep down he knew that she was only concerned for his well being, but his eyes and ears refused to sense anything but the invasion of his privacy. Much to his dismay, words slipped out of his mouth that he'd have taken back if he could, "None of your business, Lizzie". Grabbing his jacket, he was out the door in a flash.

He felt shaken as he stepped out of the elevator, into the lobby. His mother's stricken look was still in his mind. _Dammit_, he'd left in such a hurry that he'd forgotten his book.

Well maybe he'd buy a new book. He had his wallet with him. And he sure as hell didn't want to go back upstairs to their little apartment. 

Outside the city streets were lively as usual. He'd taken New York's hustle and bustle for granted before, but now he would always compare it to the relative lifelessness in Stars Hollow. Stars Hollow wasn't so bad actually. He'd thought the town had been hell at first but it was the kind of thing a person could get used to.

His unexpected discussion with his mother had put him in a pensive mood. When he had almost reached his favourite bookstore, he decided to walk right past it.

Soon he was sitting in Washington Square Park, as he was prone to doing. With his hands in his jacket pockets, he slouched on the bench and surveyed the scene with an observant eye, his thoughts drifting to Rory. 

Why hadn't he just studied with her on his last night there, instead of trying to get her attention? In retrospect, it probably would have impressed her more if he had shown that he also cared about learning. And Jess did care; he just didn't particularly subscribe to the structured learning of a classroom.

But Jess just hadn't been able to stop wishing for the kind of relationship with her that she had with that damn jerk Dean. The kind of relationship where they could spend time together, no strings attached. The kind where he could just _be_ with her, without having to resort to buying her basket, or hijacking her carriage, or even having her tutor him. But wishing for it didn't make it so. Dean was Rory's boyfriend and Jess didn't have that kind of relationship with her, though deep down he thought they might have had the potential for it.

He'd tried to distract her from her work all that night. He hadn't been sure his efforts were working until the moment they were cruising in her car and she was telling him to turn right. Man, that made his heart pound. At that moment he finally began to feel like they had the relationship he desired. She wanted to be with him too, no strings attached. Admittedly, the happy realization may have distracted him from the road a bit. Then that damn creature ran across the street, and within moments his excitement had been replaced by dread and shame.

He'd already apologized for the accident a million times, the night it happened. But it would never be enough. Her wrist would heal, but he'd always feel the horrible burden of what he had done to her. Even now, he felt compelled to express his regrets. No. More than that, he simply felt like hearing her voice. There was a payphone on the corner and he stared at it for a while. He needed to know if she could forgive him. 

As he pondered her forgiveness, an idea was formulating in his brain. The night of the accident, he'd had it stuck in his head that she'd never speak to him again, even in the face of Luke's attempts to tell him otherwise. Now he realized what Luke had been saying, and what he himself knew all along: Rory wasn't like that. She was so kind; she would never hold a grudge. In fact, she hadn't even been mad at him that night. He didn't know what'd convinced him she had been.

Again he stared at that payphone.

With an exasperated groan, he heaved himself out of the bench and commenced the slow, long journey to the phone, as though in a dream where no matter how desperately he runs, the destination never arrives. By the time he reached the phone, Jess's heart was pounding in his ears. He knew her phone number by heart. He had enough money for a short phone call. He knew what he would say in the event that Lorelai answered. Now he just needed to make his hands pick up the receiver and dial. As it turned out, that was the hard part.

Somehow mustering his courage, he dialed and was relieved to hear her voice say "Hello".

"Hi" he said smiling. Then all he heard was the music surrounding her. "…Hello?"

Finally she spoke again. "Hi."

"Is this a bad time?" His heart still pounded and his legs felt watery. _Maybe she didn't want to speak to him. Or maybe she was with Dean._

"Um, no… just hold on a sec." He heard her speak to someone, a scuffle and then the sounds of a door being shut. The music was muffled now. "Hi." 

"You said that already."

"I did. You're right. Sorry." When she apologized, he felt like a jerk again. W_hy am I such a smart ass to everyone?_

He changed the subject. "So, what's up?"

"Nothing… what about you?"

"Same," he said, reflecting on the cute intonation her voice had acquired.

"So, what have you been doing?"

"Nothing much." _Having weird conversations with my mother… Running out on people… Feeling guilty…_ he thought. "Just hangin' out… in the park mostly." 

"Central Park?" she inquired.

"Washington Square Park. It's cooler. It's where David Lee Roth got busted."

"Right, Right." She said, "I hope he's got it together now." He smiled. Her response had been perfect. She always could keep up with Jess.

"Sounds like you got a party goin' on there." He hoped she didn't. He especially hoped Dean wasn't there.

"No, it's just me and my mom."

"Right." Now there was someone who had a good relationship with her mother – frighteningly good. He paused for a moment. "Okay well," he said letting his breath out in a gust, "I'm gonna go. This is long distance." He didn't really want to go, but he didn't have enough change on him for a longer call. He would have to call again some other time.

Rory sounded sorry to say goodbye. "Yeah. It is long distance." At that moment, he felt two worlds away from her.

"So… See ya." He said. He didn't know what else he could say.

"Yeah… See ya." 

And that was that. They were disconnected again and he almost felt worse than he had before he called. Why couldn't he have thought of something better to say to her than that? And then he remembered: he hadn't even asked her about her wrist, or the car or anything! And he'd forgotten to apologize.

Feeling disgusted with himself, he went back and reclaimed his bench. In spite of the chill in the air, he sat there for quite a while that night.


	2. Part 1 2 : An Unexpected Companion

RETURNING HOME, PART ONE

CHAPTER TWO. AN UNEXPECTED COMPANION

The next morning – shortly before eight, as a glance towards his digital clock revealed to him – Jess extracted himself from his cocoon of blankets, feeling emotionally drained. He found his mother in the kitchen, eating toast and jam and reading TV Guide. He was too tired to put up his defences.

"I'm sorry about rushing out of here last night."

"That's OK Jess," she said with a broad smile. "Would you like some toast?" With the exception of the previous day's soup, she had never fed him before. Out of necessity, Jess had always been self-sufficient. He didn't know why she was offering now.

"I can get it."

He set about fixing himself a little breakfast and then brought it over to the table where she sat. "Anything good on tonight?"

"I don't know. I wasn't really paying attention to what I was reading." She chuckled self-deprecatingly and made a move to hand him the TV Guide. "You wanna give it a go?" 

"Nah. I prefer books to television anyway."

"I know you do. Read anything good lately?"

"Always. You?"

"Never. You must get that from your father."

His mother continued flipping through the magazine and sipping her orange juice. Jess finished his breakfast to another surprisingly companionable silence. When finished, he stated, "Well I'm going to the park."

"Washington Square?"

He narrowed his eyes slightly and looked at her. _How did she know where he hung out?_ he thought. "Yeah," his voice was guarded.

She shrugged with a grin. "I've just seen you there before Jess, and it's not too far from the apartment so it was a likely guess. You don't have to look at me like that."

"Oh."

"We should probably get you re-enrolled in school."

"I guess," he mumbled.

"Anyway, we'll talk about that later. I have to get to work now." She got up and carried her plate to the sink. "Have a good day," she said, stopping short of kissing him on his forehead. Obviously, she had thought better of doing that.

"Bye." And then she was gone. Jess sat at the table for a moment, perplexed. What the hell was happening between him and his mother? Were they… _getting along_? True, Jess hadn't committed any crimes since being back home; she had no reason to yell at him. But then, that had never seemed to stop her before. Now she's hugging him and practically kissing him on the forehead? Things were changing. 

With an involuntary shudder, Jess put it out of his mind and headed for the bathroom. He hopped in the shower. A little while later he was pulling a shirt over his head and grabbing his book and keys.

At the park, everything was fresh and relaxing as usual. The birds were chirping, people were talking and laughing, behind him dogs were playfully barking. However none of it could distract Jess from his book, he was so thoroughly engrossed in it. Nothing that is except the soft voice that came up behind him.

"Hey."

Jess let his book drop down a bit. _That sounded like… Could it be?_ He turned in his seat and there indeed was Rory, looking fresh faced and happy. A grin spread across his face as his heart sped up. "How you doing?"

"Good. How 'bout you?"

"Good." _Getting better all the time_, he thought. "You hungry?"

"Starved," she replied with a sheepish face.

Standing up, he declared, "I know a place." Walking around the park bench he took note of his page number and closed the book. As he began to lead her out of the park, he briefly wondered if he had the nerve to put his arm around her shoulders. Instead, to give his arms something to do, he opted for holding his book behind his back.

What on Earth was Rory doing here? It was a Thursday. She should be at Chilton. In fact, he thought, eyeing her again, she was wearing her school uniform; had she skipped? No, it wasn't possible. Rory would never skip school. But then again, the facts seemed to indicate it.

So many questions ran through his head. What could possibly have happened to bring her here? And most importantly, did Dean know? Jess didn't dare ask these things though. He was afraid if he brought them up, it would scare her away. She was skittish that way.

Trying to clear his mind by clearing his throat, he reiterated, "I know a place. I'll treat you if you'd like."

"Sounds good," she said and smiled shyly at him. The two of them stood on the corner for a moment, waiting for a break in traffic. Jess stuffed his book in his back pocket and took off his jacket. He was suddenly feeling very hot.

"How are you?" he asked, weighing the question carefully before uttering it.

"I'm good." 

It was then that Jess realized he was repeating himself. He was glad she didn't call him on it, considering he'd brought it to her attention when, the night before on the phone, she'd repeated herself. "How was your trip?" he asked. It was another variation of the same question but now Jess was trying to elicit a more descriptive answer.

"It was fun. There was this guy on the bus who actually started a sing-a-long. It was crazy. All these people singing 'George of the Jungle'."

Jess was dumbfounded. "You're lying. Doesn't sound very 'New York'." 

She laughed calmly and Jess knew he could believe her. "I'm not lying. There was a sing-a-long on the bus. But, there were also a lot of people who thought the guy was nuts and they didn't sing. One guy told him to… um… 'politely' shut his mouth."

"Did he stop singing?"

"No. He kept right on singing and gave the other guy the finger."

"_That_ sounds like 'New York'."

He joined her in her laughter this time. "Does it sound like New York?" she asked, once she'd stopped laughing. "I don't know; it's not so different here. I think I could get used to it." They crossed the street and stepped up onto the curb. "I feel very urban today."

"Oh yeah. The plaid just screams urban." Urban or not, she looked good. Jess was glad he'd worn a shirt today without any rips in it.

"I think I look like a native," she insisted.

"How well do you know Manhattan?" Although he'd said it straight, his thoughts were filled with sarcasm.

"I've been here a few times. We saw the Bangles here."

Some sarcasm crept in this time. He couldn't help it; it was in his nature. "When was that? 20 years ago?"

"It was a reunion and they were great."

"Yeah they're OK," he conceded.

Rory continued. "And a couple of years ago Mom drove us in to shop and she couldn't find a good parking place and all the parking lots were a total rip off so she kept making u-turns and cutting off taxis and we were being screamed at in so many different languages that we just turned around and drove home and bought a hummel at the curio store in Stars Hollow."

"How very adventurous."

"I'm just saying I'm no stranger to the Big Apple."

"You are if you're calling it the Big Apple!" he guffawed.

"So I don't have the lingo down yet but at least I have the attitude." Her smile was delightful.

"You do huh?"

She gave him a proud look before replying "Oh yeah. When I was getting a locker for my backpack at the bus stop there was this guy and he was just standing there staring at me. And instead of ignoring him, I just fixed him with a really withering stare."

"Now that I've gotta see!" 

"No," she answered, embarrassed.

"Oh come on! Let me see your withering stare!" he pleaded jovially, turning his body towards hers as they continued walking down the street.

"It's dangerous. I could hurt you."

"I've been hurt before."

"No."

Jess sighed good-naturedly. "I'm disappointed," he said to which she made a slight noise as if to say "Oh well". Reaching for her wrist, he changed the subject. "So you're arm's OK?"

"Yeah. It looks worse than it is."

There were a number of stickers on her cast. One sticker of Emily the Strange caught his attention. "I like this Emily chick. Friend of yours?"

"She's a friend to all of us dispossessed."

By this time, they had reached their destination. Jess stated, "So here's our lunch place."

"A hot dog stand?"

"Hey I eat here every day. It's nothing fancy but…" By this time, Jess thought maybe he should have brought her some place else, some place more impressive. But Jess didn't know what he should do; he didn't know why she was here.

"No I love it. It's perfect."

"Good." Relaxing, Jess ordered "One with everything on it?"

"Make that two please."

Jess reached into his pocket and pulled out a few crumpled bills. Trying to straighten them, he decided to bite the bullet and ask her about Dean. "So uh… how's…" But that's as far as he got, before his nerves got the better of him.

"Luke?" she offered.

Relieved, he decided to go along with the suggestion. Why not? He was curious about Luke too. "Yeah."

"OK. He went fishing."

Jess snickered under his breath. "Fishing?"

"Yeah. He didn't catch anything though."

"Probably used the wrong bait."

"Yeah. It's a common… fishing… blunder." 

She'd spoken haltingly. Jess took it as a sign that she didn't want to talk about Luke either. Jess hoped his vocal tone reflected his desire to close the subject. "So he's good?"

"Yeah. He's good. I can tell him hello for you if you want."

"Whatever."

The vender passed them their hotdogs and Rory, the perfect picture of small-town graciousness, thanked him. The two started across the street as they each took bites. Rory exclaimed in delight, "Oh my God. This is really good."

"I'm glad you like it. So how much time you got?"

"I got a bit."

"There's a record store you should check out. It's run by this insane freak who's like a walking encyclopedia for every punk and garage band record ever made. Catalogue numbers: It's crazy. The place is right outta _High Fidelity_." 

Jess had spoken enthusiastically and Rory followed suit "Let's go."

"OK." Jess made his way to the top of a stairway that led underground.

"Where are you going?"

"Subway," Jess said matter-of-factly, pointing down the flight of stairs.

She hummed and hawed. "I thought we were gonna walk."

"It's 15 blocks! Come on," he encouraged, realizing she was nervous. "I think you'll like it."

"Do they allow hot dogs in the subway?"

"You are so an out-of-towner!" At that, she shot him a look and haughtily passed by him at the top of the stairs, taking the steps quickly. Jess followed her down, watching her hair as it swung behind her. At the first landing, Jess slipped two tokens into the revolving gate and, one by one, they were admitted into the station.

They would catch the next northbound train, which would be arriving, as always, at any moment. As they descended the last of the stairs, Rory put on a brave face as though she wasn't scared to be underground in the New York City subway system. Jess could tell that she was anxious though. Just as she stepped onto the platform, the southbound train stormed into the station towards them, a whirl of movement and noise. Rory watched the train, wide eyed, as the gust of wind it generated whipped around them and caused paper and plastic wrappers to swirl at their feet. She took a step back from the track, closer to the stairs and to Jess. He could almost feel the heat emanating from her.

"Excuse me!" said a woman coming down the stairs. "You're blocking the way."

"Sorry!" said Rory dismayed, stumbling forward again. Jess smiled and, with a hand on her shoulder, gently guided her to the track on the opposite side of the platform. They stood next to a pillar where they wouldn't disturb the myriad of people milling about. She watched as the southbound train, with the chime of a few short notes, closed its doors and began to leave the station.

"Your first time in a subway?" he asked.

"Oh. No. Me and the subway? We go way back." Her eyes twinkled; she knew she wasn't fooling anybody. "Yeah actually."

"It's not so bad."

"No." She leaned closer to him, speaking conspiratorially, "It's kind of exciting."

He smiled, his eyes uncharacteristically bright. He was feeling exhilarated as well.

They could hear the rumble of the northbound train now. She was peering down the dark track trying to see it, while trying to stay as far away from the track as possible. Jess was ignoring the train, having eyes only for Rory. When the train finally turned a corner and burst into the station, Rory's lips parted a bit in breathless awe.

Her hair blew around her face as the train sped by, taking a long time before having fully entered the station and screeching to a stop. 

The doors opened spewing forth a throng of people. Jess stepped forward and then noticed Rory was still standing behind him at the pillar. "Hey Urbanite!" When he had her attention, he called out "Come on!" as though encouraging a puppy. He held out his arm welcomingly. 

She took his hand then, in her normal platonic way, while he tenderly pulled her though the doors. He couldn't help but notice her practically leap over the slight gap between the platform and the train, as if afraid that she would get sucked down onto the track. _Boy, she really is nervous!_ He thought, stifling a laugh.

Inside there was standing room only. Jess hung on to the overhead bar while Rory held onto the seatback beside her. When the train started to move, she stumbled slightly, smiling and balancing her half-eaten hot dog. After about 3 stops, they were able to sit down, squeezing together into a tight space. 

"So you found me in the park," he stated as he glanced down at her plaid kilted thigh touching his.

"Yeah. I don't know what I would've done if I hadn't found you there."

"Didn't Luke give you my address?"

"I guess I could have asked Luke for your address. But that would mean telling someone I was coming."

"No one knows you're here?"

Rory finished off her hotdog. She glanced around for a receptacle to place her crumpled napkin. Not finding one, she tucked the napkin in her palm and answered his question "Nope."

"Oh my God! You rebel."

"Yeah. But unlike you, I have a cause."

Jess was just about to ask her what her cause was when he realized they'd reached their stop – they had arrived all too soon for Jess. "Oh! Geez! This is our stop. Come on." They exited the train moments before the doors began closing again, and headed for the escalator. On the way, Rory found the garbage can she'd sought.

Emerging from the station, Rory bounced onto the sidewalk and into the sunshine, Jess trotting close behind her. "That was fun." 

Jess laughed. "You have very simple pleasures." But Jess had enjoyed it too. There were so many people on the train; it had been the perfect excuse to be close to Rory. He could still feel the weight of her body pressed up against his. He took a deep controlling breath. "This way. The store's just around the corner."

A bell jingled as they stepped into the narrow record shop. They were at once aurally assaulted by several loud guitar licks from a punk record. Albums were stacked on either side of them and paraphernalia lined the walls. "Wow," she uttered. "This is great." Soon they were each contentedly flipping through the sea of LP's.

Finally Rory broke their silence. "Ak! This cover is gross," she said, pensively holding up a copy of 'I Get Wet' by Andrew W.K.

"You better watch what you say or that'll end up behind a Rory curtain!" Jess whispered, causing her to giggle nervously and drop the record back on the shelf. He chuckled and, after allowing more comfortable silence between them, spoke again "I haven't even heard of half of these bands."

"I love that about this place," Rory replied. "God. Lane would want to live here."

Jess crossed the aisle to look through the S's. "Who's Slin?"

"I don't know."

The owner of the store broke into their conversation. "Grunge band out of Kentucky. Two albums plus a double A-side single. Disbanded in '94."

"Thanks," said Jess. He and Rory shared a look. He nodded in the direction of the owner as if to say 'would you get a load of that'. She giggled softly and returned to the rack of records behind her.

"Oh my God!"

"What?" Jess inquired, stepping across the aisle towards her. He was acutely aware of their physical closeness. He wondered if he could step any closer to her without causing her to move away from him.

"Look!"

"The Go-Go's. You must have that one."

"No. For my mom. This was her favourite group when she was my age and it's signed by Belinda." Rory was showing him the record but Jess's eyes drifted to her animated face. "This would be the perfect graduation present. I've been looking for something all week long and I couldn't find anything and now I have Belinda."

"Graduation?" Jess solicited.

"Oh! From college for her business classes."

"I'm surprised she has time for anything except lighting darts on fire and throwing them at my picture."

"Well, it's not a lot of time but…" she agreed.

"Uh huh. Go on. Get it. She'll like it."

"Thank you so much for bringing me here." She was smiling up at him. "This was fate."

"I think it was." Jess crammed as much innuendo into his statement as possible. 

"And in return, I just might show you my withering stare." With a slight skip, she headed off in the direction of the cash register.

"I'm a lucky man." Jess turned back to the record display. He loved the way they bantered. It brought a smile to his face. He was flipping through the records again but paused to sneak a look at Rory. When she caught him looking at her, she smiled brightly. He wasn't embarrassed to have been caught – she had snuck a look at him too.

***

Some 45 minutes after they had entered, Rory and Jess left the record store. Standing outside the door as people passed by, Rory once again expressed her pleasure at having had the chance to browse the recordings. "I'm so glad that we went in there. That was great. And I just know my mother will treasure this record."

"I'm sure she will," Jess replied, smiling at her happy face and shoving his hands into his jacket's pockets. "I had a good time too." 

"But you didn't even buy anything."

"I can buy something later. I live here remember? I'm always in this store."

"If you spend so much time in this store, how come you had such a good time in there today?"

"So what should we do now?" Jess came back, deftly ignoring her question.

"One would think you'd be bored in a store that you always go to." Rory continued knowingly.

"One would think. Do you have time to do something else before you have to head back?" 

"Why, Mr. Mariano! I do believe you're squirming again!" Rory said calmly, with a twinkle in her eye.

"Yeah. You know how you love it when I squirm." He smirked wryly.

"Yeah. I do." Rory slipped her arm through his. "I've got about another hour. So shall we head back to the subway?" She began to leisurely lead him towards the corner.

Jess was floored. Rory was acting so different today. Setting aside the fact that she had actually skipped school and traveled the distance to New York City alone and in secret, now they were walking arm in arm? Rory was flirting with him. Jess knew it now. For the umpteenth time he wondered what had happened with Dean. There had been a few moments already that day, where Jess had meant to bring up her boyfriend, but he'd always chickened out, never wanting to ruin the moment. And, despite his intense curiosity, he certainly wasn't going to bring Dean up now – not with Rory touching him! "Are you feeling a little more confident?" Jess asked, looking down at her close beside him and knowing full well by her behaviour that she was. "About the subway, I mean."

"I can handle anything today!" she said with determination.

"How bout we go down to Grand Central?"

"Grand Central? The station?" Some of her bravado seeped out through her uncertain eyes.

"The one and only."

"_The_ biggest subway station in New York City?"

"According to Guinness, the biggest terminal in the world. And it's not just for the subway. Commuter trains from Westchester and Connecticut also stop there."

"You don't say." She fell back, extracting her arm from his. He turned to look at her.

"You OK? You look a little green." Jess peered into her eyes, concerned by her nervousness but momentarily distracted by her large feathery lashes. "Come on! Where's your chutzpah?"

"I think it's hiding in my shoe."

Jess gave her a look that blatantly stated his disbelief. "You've made it this far."

With a sigh she raised her eyebrows, a hopeful expression adorning her face. "You're right. I can do this."

"Right on! Let's go, it's only a couple more stops further north." By this time, Jess had cupped her hand in his and she let him guide her away. _It is so easy to take her hand,_ he marvelled. He wasn't sure if he owed this facility to her newfound adventurousness, or conversely, her innate fear of the unknown. All he knew was, to hold Rory's hand, felt comfortable and… right.

"OK." Throwing caution to the wind, she closely followed him back into the subway station and they hopped once again onto the northbound train. 

***

In no time, the pair stepped out of the train into the lower level concourse of Grand Central Terminal. "Oh this is nice. Not bad at all," Rory said in approval, once she got a look at its retail community of stores, food markets and restaurants.

"You think this is nice, you should see upstairs."

"Let's go." And he led her away. Jess was holding Rory's hand again as they walked. It was easier for them to stay together that way, as they navigated the hoards of commuters.

"So. What do you think?" Jess asked after the ramp they had climbed opened up into the main concourse.

When Rory saw the main concourse of Grand Central Terminal, she immediately seemed impressed. "Wow! I never expected it to look like this!" she said as she walked, gazing upward in awe.

"What did you expect?"

"Well. It's so beautiful. I expected something more dreary."

"Huh."

"I thought the ceilings would close in on you – you know? - and make it feel like we were underground, like at that other station. But these ceilings must be 120 feet high! And look, there are constellations painted on it!"

"They just restored it a while back. Nice huh?"

"Very nice! I feel like I'm in another time, another world," gushed Rory unselfconsciously. 

Jess felt the same way – he was in a world that he wanted to stay in forever, alone with Rory Gilmore. _Quit being so sappy, Mariano!_ he chastised himself with inward embarrassment. He was glad he hadn't revealed his sissified thoughts to her. "Come on," he said instead. "I'll treat you to a coffee." 

"Ooh! I bet you can get some great coffee here."

"I wouldn't know. I'm not a guzzler like you."

"I'm not a guzzler!"

"Like a Hoover Wet/Dry vac! I haven't seen you drink a coffee all day. I'm surprised you're not shaking from withdrawal, begging for a fix!" 

Rory playfully swatted him and then placed her hand back in his. "So lead the way," she instructed.

"Where?"

"To the coffee place."

"Hang on, I'm looking for it. I don't know where it is."

"You don't?" Rory asked in disbelief.

"I'm not a guzzler like you."

"I'm not a guz- Argh! Alright."

So they wandered around for a while. Every step of the way, Rory marvelled at the complex, which was a community in itself, and at the people negotiating it at break-neck speeds. Soon, they found themselves back in the lower concourse, in the market district. It was there that they discovered a Starbucks. Rory decided to pamper herself with a French Roast whereas Jess chose a hot chocolate. After paying, he took hold of her record so that she could hold her venti – twenty fluid ounce – coffee in her good hand. 

They made their way to a table in a somewhat secluded area. From there, they were able to watch the passers-by. Before sitting down across from Rory, Jess removed his book from his back pocket. He placed both the record and the book on the table beside them. As though irresistibly attracted, Rory picked up the book and flipped it open.

"The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test, huh?"

"Yeah well, I've delved into the lives of the beats. Figured I might as well graduate into the world of the hippies."

"Uh-huh. I'm surprised you haven't already done that."

"Well actually, I have read this before. It's pretty good. You should read it. All about Ken Kesey and his Merry Pranksters trying to recreate the feeling of Kerouac's 'On the Road', trying to provoke thought where things are normally taken for granted. They traveled across America, staging street theatre and LSD parties."

"A drug book huh? Gee, I couldn't tell by the title," Rory said with a hint of sarcasm.

"It's not just a drug book. It deals evenly with the good and the bad side of drugs. Tom Wolfe stays impartial."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Tom Wolfe's a journalist, just like you will be."

Rory looked up at him through her eyelashes and smiled shyly. Jess felt his own lips tugging into a silly grin just looking at her. A moment later, after he had enjoyed a healthy dose of eye contact and was starting to feel self conscious, he continued, "It's journalistic, but make no mistake, it is a novel. It's interesting. You've read 'On the Road' right?"

"Yeah."

"Well you'll even recognize some of the characters in this book then. Neal Cassady's in this one too."

"'Dean Moriarty'?"

"Yeah but they called him 'Speed Limit' by the time this was written."

Rory took a mouthful of coffee and rolled it around her tongue like a true connoisseur, an expression of pleasure flooded her rosy features as she considered the book she was flipping through. Coffee and a book? She was in her element. "Is it like 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest'? In that same vein?"

"It's trippier, but it does deal with the same themes of morality and non-conformity. And you can't fully understand the _Grateful Dead_'s 'Truckin' without reading this book. You should read it. I'd lend it to you but…"

"Yeah. But I'd have to mail it back." The smile dropped from her face. "I can take it out of the library though. Back in Stars Hollow."

"You do that."

"Stars Hollow! What time is it?" She checked her watch and emitted a little gasp. "I should get going. My mom's graduation is tonight."

Jess sighed. _All good things must come to an end._ "You can't miss that," he agreed ruefully.

"I _so_ cannot miss that. These are the things that happen once in a lifetime!"

"Well OK. Let's go."

***

They caught a westbound train to get to the Port Authority Bus Terminal and, this time, Rory stepped onto the train with confidence. On board, there were seats available, as it was after the lunch hour and before the afternoon rush. They sat down as the door chimes sounded again. She mimicked them happily. "Bing-bing! Bing-bong!"

He laughed, whilst looking down and rubbing his cheek, pretending to be mortified. Her laughter echoed his. "Am I embarrassing you?" she asked, nudging him playfully with her shoulder. 

He looked into her blue eyes, marvelling at the way they sparkled. "No. Not really," he relented. The truth was, her excitement for the subway, and New York in general, was rubbing off on him. He was experiencing it with new eyes.

***


	3. Part 1 3 : Resolution

RETURNING HOME, PART ONE

CHAPTER THREE. RESOLUTION

***

Rory checked her pocket, her backpack slipping off her shoulder before she forcefully replaced it and stuck her other arm in the remaining shoulder strap. Having been satisfied that her return bus ticket was still tucked safely in her pocket, Rory and Jess wordlessly made their way from the bank of lockers in the interior of the Port Authority Bus Terminal to the boarding docks. According to the printed schedule on her ticket, they had arrived not a moment too soon. Her bus was due to leave in only 15 minutes. Jess, however, was torn. Although he wanted Rory to arrive in time for her mother's ceremony, he didn't want to let her slip away from him just yet. 

The two exited out the door towards the docks, totally oblivious to the travel announcement being delivered over the intercom, and the accompanying resounding groan from the wearied travelers clustered in the lobby. Jess passed her Go-Go's record to her as she surveyed the row of buses parked outside. "I think this one's mine," she stated as she navigated through a swarm of people towards one particular bus.

A glance at the bus's posted destination confirmed her statement. "Yup. Sign says 'Boonsville'." _Boonsville, Connecticut, about three and a half hours away from here_, thought Jess morosely.

"Excuse me," came a timid voice beside them. The man turned to Rory. "Which way is 44th?"

"Oh!" Surprise and pleasure were written on Rory's face and the sight of it ephemerally distracted Jess from his imminent loneliness. "Um. That way," she said pointing south.

Jess stifled a laugh as the man expressed his gratitude and took off in the direction she had sent him.

"I got asked directions!" Rory gushed, turning back to Jess.

"I saw," he said, smiling now.

"He took me for a native! That's so cool," she enthused. 

"It's very impressive. 44th's the other way."

Her face instantaneously fell. "Oh no!"

"Sorry."

"Oh man! I should go find him," she wailed.

"He'll figure it out when he sees all the numbers gettin' smaller instead of bigger."

She was somewhat pacified. "He still thought I was a native. That's cool," she reminded him self-redeemingly.

"I'm your witness."

"Well. I should go." Her expression was essentially content, but with a decidedly heartbreaking undertone.

"OK."

"I gotta go to my mom's graduation."

"And give her Belinda."

"And give her Belinda," she echoed, gesturing to the record in her unbroken hand. She was stalling. It was a good sign.

"Well. Go on." She was going to have to leave before he broke down and said something uncalled for; like 'Stay', or 'I love you' or something equally stupid and embarrassing. When she hesitated again, he added, "I'll check on the guy. I'll make sure he's not wandering around looking for 44th."

She finally stepped onto the bus, leaving Jess, literally and figuratively, alone, as though the source of warmth had been pulled away from his heart. He looked up at her through the bus window. As she walked towards a seat in the back, eyeing him all the while, he followed on the ground. When she chose a seat, he spoke "Why did you come here?"

Not hearing him, she opened the bus's window. "What?"

"I said, 'Why did you come here?'"

"Well…"

"I mean you ditched school and everything. It's so not you. Why'd you do it?" _Say it! Say you missed me! Say you love me! Say it!_ Jess frustratedly pushed these rogue thoughts out of his mind as he tried to concentrate on her response.

"Because, you didn't say goodbye." It was a simple response, but she said it with enough candid emotion to send tingles of warm affection straight to his soul. Rory may have been going away, but he would carry this moment, and this feeling, with him a long time.

"Oh…" he said softly, thankful that his voice hadn't cracked in doing so. "Bye Rory."

"Bye Jess." With that, Jess gave her a rakish smile and took off buoyantly in the direction she had sent the tourist, his heart full.

***

Jess stepped out of the elevator onto the fifth floor, having just returned home from the bus depot, smiling dopily all the way.

By now he'd remembered the trick to opening the deadbolt and he unlocked the door with a flourish. Stepping inside he kicked off his shoes and tossed his keys in the junk bowl by the door. He found his mother sitting on the couch watching TV.

"Hey," he offered.

Liz glanced at him and did a double take when she took in the unanticipated merriment on his face. "Hey Jess. How was your day?"

"Good." Jess stood there by the couch looking right back at her, until she smiled too.

"Wanna watch TV with me?"

"What's on?" he inquired even as his mind iterated _yes_. For some enigmatic reason, he wanted to be close to her. Maybe it was the way they were grinning at each other.

"CSI."

_That show's not bad,_ he contemplated as he took a seat on the sectional couch, biting his lip in embarrassment at his overt happiness. "OK." They turned their attention to the show contentedly.

"So Jess," she began during a commercial break. Their grins were gone but a cloud of companionship still blanketed them. "I have Monday off. I was thinking we should go down and get you re-registered in school. I mean… you're planning to stay right?"

"Do I have a choice this time?" he asked sincerely.

"Of course."

"I didn't have a choice before when you shipped me off to Stars Hollow."

"Oh… Well I'd just thought that it would be for the best. I obviously wasn't able to handle you and I thought maybe Luke could." She sighed and glanced tentatively at him. "I'm sorry if you felt that you didn't have a choice. Was it really awful there? I haven't been back there in so long."

Jess was quiet for a moment. "Actually it turned out that it wasn't so bad after all."

"Really? I hated growing up there. Everybody knowing your business, breathing down your neck." 

"Yeah that's true." Jess nodded thoughtfully. "It _was_ like that. But there were good things about the place to." It was curious the way Jess could suddenly focus only on the good things.

"Huh. You're a stronger person than I am." The show came back on and they watched as Grissom, Sara and Warrick investigated the bombing of a Las Vegas office building.

In the next commercial break, it was Jess who broke the silence. "I kinda miss it there."

"Oh." He was surprised to note the sad expression on her face as she said it. "I guess that means you'd rather go back."

"Actually, I'm thinking about it."

"I'm sorry that I've been such a bad mother to you Jess."

"No it's not that. Hey, I've been just as bad to you. Besides, we've been getting along these last couple of days, haven't we?"

"I thought so too. I'm gonna miss you again."

"Again!" Jess exclaimed with humoured exasperation. "As if you missed me before!" 

"I did."

"Right."

"I did. Granted, it was more difficult to miss you before – you were such an offensive punk," the woman muttered glibly while Jess laughed. "But I think maybe you've calmed down a bit now."

Jess thought for a moment. "Yeah I think so. Actually… I think you have too."

"Yeah I have," she replied, pondering as Jess had. "I'm starting to get things under control, I think."

"So I can go back to Stars Hollow?"

"It's up to you. But you should make up your mind soon. You've already missed enough school. Too much actually."

Jess almost laughed out loud as her long overdue parenting skills were finally revealed. _She doesn't know how much school I missed even when I _was_ enrolled._ Keeping his face straight, or as straight as he could under the circumstances, he admitted, "I think I want to go back. If Luke will take me."

"Oh. OK." Pensively, they both then turned back to the TV and watched as Grissom told his lead suspect he was free to go.

***

Late the next afternoon, Jess picked up the phone and dialed his friend Jason. Now that Jess knew he was going back to Stars Hollow – now that he knew he was only a visitor to New York – he felt a little bit more eager to touch base with his friends. Who knew when the opportunity would present itself again? When Jason answered the phone, Jess exclaimed "Hey man!"

"Jess?" came the disbelieving response.

"The one and only!"

"Holy shit! How ya doing, man?"

"Not bad. Not bad. Listen, I'm in town for a couple days, you and the guys wanna get together?"

"Do you even need to ask? I'll call Eliot and Pete. You call Noddy. He's probably looking for an excuse to avoid Cheryl anyway."

Jess laughed. Noddy and Cheryl's relationship was in a perpetual state of flux. Some things never changed. 

"What say we meet at the corner of Bleecker and 6th?" Jason continued, listing off an intersection that bisected their apartments.

"Sounds good. Say an hour?"

"Yup. See ya then."

An hour later, Jess caught up with his friends by the basketball court. Jason, Noddy, Eliot and Pete were already there.

"Jace! Nods-my-man!" Jess called out. "Peter!" he added in a deep, reprimanding voice, faking a punch to the other boy's gut. Pete pushed him back with a laugh. Jess turned to Eliot, "Hey Geek!"

"Geek! You're the bookworm Mariano!" Eliot came back, swinging an arm around Jess's neck and putting him in a good-natured headlock.

"So where to?" asked Jess, when he'd disentangled himself, to a round of laughter and greetings.

"Hang on. We have to wait for Danica and her friend," Eliot replied, referring to Pete's long time girlfriend. Jess looked at Pete quizzically. He had been expecting a guy's night out. But, in all honesty, he didn't mind that girls would be tagging along.

"Don't look at me, I didn't invite her." Pete said. 

Jess raised an eyebrow, but before he could ask Pete to explain his comment, Jason spoke up. "Well speak of the Devil."

Jess turned to see Danica and her friend Sheila approaching their group. "Hey guys!" Danica said, sauntering past Pete and slipping into Eliot's arms. After kissing Eliot, she turned and added "Hey Jess. Long time no see."

"Yeah apparently I've missed a lot." He muttered incredulously, looking from Danica to Pete to Eliot. Some things never changed, but evidently some things did.

Then Sheila piped up "Hey Jessie!" She gave him a little hug and a peck on the cheek. 

She was just being sociable, Jess knew; she was a friend and nothing more. Sheila was just the huggy-feely type. Even still, he slipped out of her arms quickly. "Hey Sheila." Now that Danica and Sheila were there, the guys would probably be on their best behaviour. Truthfully, Jess was a little bit glad for that. He didn't feel like breaking the law tonight, and when these guys got together, you never knew.

"Hey lets go bowling." Danica suggested.

"Bowling," wailed Jason. "Jess doesn't want to go bowling. Not when there are so many _other_ things we could do," he added with a devious smile.

Danica decided to play the girlfriend card. She sidled up to Eliot and, in her most seductive voice, begged "Come on. Sheil's and I want to go bowling." Pete pretended to gag at the display.

Eliot rolled his eyes but Jess could tell that he would cave. When Noddy leaned towards him and stage-whispered "so whipped" Jess and the others couldn't help but laugh.

"You're one to talk. Cheryl let you out, huh?" Eliot came back, starting an impromptu bout of roughhousing. Now it was Danica's turn to roll her eyes. Her seduction had been forgotten.

"Come on. This is Jess's night. He should decide what we do." Jason turned to him. "Whaddaya say Jess? My brother's in town. He could get us some brewskis."

Jess felt all eyes upon him. "Thanks Ace." Jess paused to think a moment. True, most of the time spent with his friends in the past had been about drinking. But then, Jess had been a troubled soul before. Now that Rory had shown an interest in him, he felt light as air. Jess didn't need to dull his senses; he was already high on Rory.

Jason narrowed his eyes at Jess's silence. "Don't turn me down, man!" he exclaimed incredulously.

"Bowling doesn't sound all that bad…" Jess really didn't want to get into trouble tonight.

"On a Friday night?" asked Noddy.

"Oh my God. What did that town do to you?" inquired Pete.

Jason chimed in. "No! Where did our Jess go?" He flailed his arms in the air. Turning to Jess, he added "You were always the master. No one could pull off a job like you! What the hell happened?" He was incredulous, but not mad.

"I'm still me. Just happier."

"Happier? Ugh!" Jason made the emotion sound hideous. Jason was always dramatic like that.

"How 'bout beers and _then_ bowling?" Jess bargained with a smile. He didn't have to actually drink any of them.

"OK!" Jason was pacified. As long as beers were involved, Jason was game. He pulled out his cell phone and dialed his brother's number. "Hey Eric. How's about…" Jess tuned him out and smiled as their group headed for Eric's.

A couple hours later, the gang was ensconced in the East Village's Bowlmor Lanes, the sound of pins falling and people cheering surrounding them. Jess was in lane 34 along with Pete, Noddy and Sheila, while Jason, Eliot and Danica played a round in the adjoining lane 35. Jason's older brother Eric surprised them all by joining them for a few rounds. He evened out the lane 35 faction.

"Oooh! I can't believe I'm losing again!" wailed Danica. "I'm usually pretty good at bowling!"

"I don't suppose it has anything to do with the booze," replied Sheila with a wink.

Danica giggled. "You're right. I'm a little tipsy!" she said as she stumbled and fell into Eliot's lap.

While Pete was eyeing up his 7-10 split, Sheila turned to Jess and Noddy with a wicked grin. "She doesn't hold her liquor very well."

Jess and Noddy laughed in agreement. They had all had a bit to drink at Eric's, everyone but Sheila that is. She didn't drink and Jess admired her for it. Even Jess had had a couple beers, but two beers weren't enough to affect him, so he and Sheila held up the sober end of the spectrum. On the other hand, Danica was "tipsy" and Jason was sloshed. At that very moment Jason was standing on the ball return, his arms thrown back above his head. He was howling in excitement because he'd fluked out and gotten a strike. 

Eric quickly pulled him down. "You want to get us kicked out, Nimrod?" he complained but he chuckled along with everyone else's laughter.

When they had had their fill of bowling and Sheila complained that her forearm was tired, they turned in their bowling shoes and stepped out into the night. It was only 10 o'clock so Jess suggested that they all go to Washington Square Park. Eric took off his own way, but the rest of them found themselves at Jess' favourite locale.

The effects of the alcohol were winding down, even in Jason and Danica, but that didn't stop the roughhousing and other such boisterous play. Jess was having a good time that night, being with his friends. He was glad, however, that the alcohol hadn't led to anything illegal. Not that they'd ever committed anything serious, only petty crimes and elaborate pranks out of boredom. His friends were good guys, perhaps a little rough around the edges but good nonetheless. A lot like Jess was. He wondered what Rory would think of these people. Hell, he wondered what Rory thought of _him_.

With a contented smile on his face, Jess slipped away from the group and sat down on a bench not too far away. He laughed uproariously as he watched Jason slip into the fountain with a thunderous sploosh. _OK,_ he thought. _Maybe the alcohol still had a hold on them._

When she noticed Jess's absence, Sheila came over and sat beside him. "Why are you so quiet tonight?"

"Thinkin'."

"You've changed. I couldn't believe it when you said you wanted to go bowling."

"Six months in the sticks will do that to a guy."

"I doubt that. I woulda thought it'd make you even more wild." She interrupted herself with a snicker. "God, Jace-Ace is drunk! Dani helps him out of the fountain and now he's making a pass at her!"

Jess laughed too. "Yeah well, Dani seems to be makin' the rounds herself," referring to her new affiliation with Eliot instead of Pete. "What's the 411 on that?"

"Oh that? Yeah, they've been together for a couple of months." 

The two sat in companionable silence for a while, watching their friends' antics. They both chuckled when Danica caught sight of them and started singing "Sheil's and Jess, sittin' in a tree!" The others, even Jason who was still ringing out his shirt, chimed in with an R-rated version of the classic children's rhyme.

"Shut up, ya pack a losers!" called Sheila good-naturedly as she and Jess laughed again. Then she lowered her voice. "Yeah right. I bet you got a girlfriend in Stars Hollow."

"Ahhh…" answered Jess thoughtfully, a smile toying with his lips. He didn't think he could call Rory a girlfriend; at least not yet. He still had no idea where Dean fit into yesterday's equation. There was still so much going on inside Rory's head that Jess didn't know.

Sheila poked him in the ribs. "You _do_!" she exclaimed with glee. "Jessie's in love! I never thought I'd see the day."

Jess just smiled complacently. He'd read enough books to recognize the symptoms in himself: he had a suspicion Sheila was right.

***


	4. Part 2 1 : Home Is Where the Heart Is

RETURNING HOME, PART TWO

CHAPTER ONE. HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS

***

A week or so later, Jess picked up a book from the desk, one of his own books. He flipped through it and wondered when Luke would discover him in the apartment above the Stars Hollow diner, all the while contemplating what he should say to Luke when he did. He didn't have long to ponder though. Just as Jess was flipping through the book he'd read many times before, he heard footsteps coming up the stairs. A moment later, as if right on cue, Luke strode through the door. Jess tossed the book back down on the desk.

"Hey," came Luke's startled response to seeing Jess there. 

"Hey."

"How'd you get in here?"

"The door was open," Jess replied calmly, knowing full well that that wasn't exactly the question Luke was asking him.

"No, I mean, I was in the diner. I would've seen you come up the stairs… You know what, forget it, I don't wanna know. So, how's everything back home?"

"Fine," Jess replied without elaboration.

"Your mom?" Luke tried again, this time a look of slight expectant irritation marring his features. 

Jess knew that he could offer Luke more information. He had, in fact, plenty to give, but as was his normal tendency in such uncomfortable situations, he kept his replies short. "Fine."

"You in trouble?"

"Nah."

Luke finally lost his impatience at Jess's one-syllable responses. "Then what the hell you doing here, Jess? You know, I, uh, I called you six times. Now I didn't expect you to call me back so we could sit on the phone in bed and watch Sleepless in Seattle together. I just expected you to call me back, say you got home, say no one mugged me on the bus, say you were OK." 

Jess looked away. He hadn't thought Luke cared whether Jess phoned back or not. Maybe he had. Maybe Jess had misjudged the man, the same way that he had misjudged his mother. Thoughts of guilt tugged at his psyche, but he hid them by plastering a wall between him and his uncle.

Luke went on, "Say… you know what, never mind. Just tell me what it is you want. I got work to do."

Out of his entire trip back to Stars Hollow, this was the moment Jess had dreaded the most. Not meeting Luke's eyes, in fact looking at anything and everything _but_ Luke, Jess mumbled. "I wanna come back." 

"You what?" Jess snuck a look now and caught a look of disbelief as it crossed the older man's face.

Having already said it and now having to repeat it, Jess went on the offensive. "I want to come back," he said defiantly.

"Come back here?"

"Yes."

"Here to Stars Hollow?"

"Yes," Jess repeated with a hint of irritation.

"To live in this apartment with me?"

"I said yes a million times already."

"You know what, you're the one asking for something so you don't get to be James Dean this time, OK? Now, one more time, you wanna come back?" There was even more disbelief in Luke's last question than there had been on his face earlier.

Jess gritted his teeth and tried not to act too sarcastic. "Yes."

"Why?"

Jess didn't want to admit the real reason: since Rory had visited him, he had been filled with a little more hope for their relationship. Besides, relationship or not, being away from her was just too hard. "I just, I… I just wanna come back."

Something inside Luke snapped, thus giving rise to an outright rant. "You know what people told me when I said you were coming here to live with me? They told me I was crazy, they told me I was insane, they told me to start writing letters to Jodie Foster – but I ignored them. I was so sure that I knew what I was doing and then you showed up and you know what happened? You proved them right. I was crazy, and now after all that has happened, after all the chaos and havoc that you have wreaked, you're seriously standing there wearing a T-shirt with a picture of a butt with hands that are flipping _me_ off, telling me you wanna come back?"

_Geez, when did Luke get so lippy?_ If Jess hadn't been so worried that Luke would turn him away, he would've laughed out loud. He moved over to the bookshelf and tried to deflect the conversation's focus to Luke instead. "You didn't pack up my stuff yet."

"Uh, no, I've been a little busy," Luke said with a touch of his own sarcasm.

"When were you planning on sending it back to me?"

"What, hey, am I wearing a little brown uniform with UPS stamped on it?"

This quieted Jess. Suddenly he felt very serious. "So, what do you think?"

"Things are gonna have to be different, Jess," Luke answered, referring, Jess realized, to Jess's previous habit of pranks and petty thefts and his overall lack of initiative. 

"I know," he agreed. Jess recognized that if he hadn't been such a rabble-rouser, Luke wouldn't have felt pressured to send him away in the first place. No. Things would be different, he knew. They had to be. Rory had come to New York for him. Even after all that had happened, she still cared; Jess was not going to risk screwing that up again.

"OK." Luke looked at him, with a caring expression.

"OK?" In genuine sincerity, Jess applied his most hopeful expression. Jess wasn't sure, but he thought it could very well have been the first genuine smile he'd ever revealed to Luke.

"So you're staying?"

"I'm staying."

"OK, then. Stay. I gotta get back to the diner." Luke turned away. His no-nonsense, business-as-usual face was back on.

"I'll help you close up later, all right?" Jess said as a measure of good will and good intentions. Luke paused, mid stride, the ledger book he'd meant to pick up forgotten in his surprise.

"Sure," Luke replied. As Jess made a move toward the apartment door, he put in, "She's not home."

Jess froze. He knew full well that Luke was referring to Rory; much as he hated to admit it, his uncle could read him like a book. Even still, Jess gritted his teeth again and, feigning innocence, asked "Who?"

"She's at Sookie's wedding with Dean, they're still together. They seem to have gotten through the whole car incident. They're doing really good, Dean and Rory."

_Yeah, that's why she took a bus trip 125 miles both ways on the off chance she'd find me in the park!_ Jess inwardly mocked. Jess would be the first to admit he didn't know the whole story surrounding the little love triangle he was in, but then again, neither did Luke. "Good."

"Just leave it alone, Jess. She's got a boyfriend. Just let it go."

"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm just going out for a walk." Irritation stiffened his shoulders; body language that was not unlike that of his mother, when Jess irritated her. Jess was shutting Luke out again. Jess had promised Luke that he would make a change; he now knew it was going to be a lot harder to change his personal tendencies than he had thought.

"You heard what I said?"

"Yeah, I heard what you said." Jess raised his voice, and moments later he was out the door.

***

No one was at the gazebo, as Jess stepped out of the diner, and the street down by the church looked fairly deserted. _The wedding must be taking place at the Inn_, he thought. Within minutes, Jess found himself down by the river heading towards the Independence Inn. As he drew near, he could indeed see the outdoor party in full swing. He stood on the outskirts where he couldn't be seen and watched the pageantry from afar. 

He was looking for Rory, but as of yet, he hadn't seen her. By the piano, he saw Lane tapping out accompaniment with her drumsticks as Kirk belted out a song of some sort. Jess was thankful that the tune, or possible lack thereof, did not carry all the way to his ears. There were some things Jess could do without, and hearing Kirk singing was one of them. Another sweep of the crowd and he picked out Lorelai in a verbal sparring match with the freaky French guy who worked at the Inn. Moments later, he even saw Miss Patty, cocktail in hand, putting an arm around a startled Dean's tense shoulders. But Rory wasn't with any of them. _Where is that girl?_

Just as he was wondering that, he heard a couple of voices to his left that were much closer than those of the partygoers. Stealthily, Jess ducked unseen behind a tree and took a peek at the pair coming up the pathway. Jess smiled in relief as he finally set his sights on Rory. She was strolling towards him with someone Jess didn't recognize.

He stayed put and eavesdropped. From the words that drifted up towards him, he could make out just enough to indicate a close relationship between the two. Then Jess heard them mention Rory's mother and it all became clear. This was Rory's dad. He now recognized the man from pictures he'd seen on the Gilmore's mantle.

As the two passed him, heading further up the path, the trees no longer hid Jess. He followed them a little ways before he watched as they hugged and separated.

Rory was alone; now was his chance. And what a perfect chance it was. Jess allowed himself just a moment to gaze at the girl standing before him. She was wearing an attractive turquoise dress that set off the colour of her long cascading hair, hair by the way, which was pulled back and secured by a delicate sprig of flowers. In a word, she was beautiful. As she followed her father's departure with her eyes, her demeanour gave the impression of contentment, and Jess felt the same way just to look at her. 

And then she turned and saw Jess, in the process acquiring an expression of gentle surprised pleasure, which caused Jess's breath to catch in his throat. She stood there a moment, seemingly poised on the brink of some unknown decision. For that brief moment, Jess grew slightly worried at what she would do, but his fears were abated as she started quickly towards him.

"What are you doing here?" she demanded in awe. Apparently Rory had none of the qualms about asking for his intentions as he'd had, in New York, about asking for hers.

"Hello to you, too."

"Is everything OK?"

"You look nice."

"Thank you. What are you doing here?" she asked again.

"I moved back."

"What?"

Rory's confused and worried expression made him lose a little bit of his confidence. "I moved back," he said with more reservation.

"But – what – why?"

_Do I need to spell it out? Come on, you're a smart girl,_ he thought. But Jess couldn't bring himself to tell her how he felt, not with her looking as upset as she did right then."Just wanted to."

He couldn't read the expression on her face. He almost didn't _want_ to read the expression: her eyebrows were scrunched up into a look of torture; her body shuddered with a deep, resigning breath. And here, all this time since her visit to him, he had thought she _wanted_ him to come back. Now Jess was beginning to have doubts. Maybe she really _had_ just come to say goodbye to him. The realization sent his heart into a downward spiral. Jess almost wished he could take his declaration back; wished he was back home in New York, daydreaming about the perfect day he and Rory had shared there.

But then it happened. In a moment that both stretched across lifetimes and was over in a blink of an eye, Rory dashed towards him. He felt her arms slip around his waist, making him delirious, her urgency almost throwing him off-balance. Then he felt the softness of her lips make contact with his own.

The kiss was both delicate and passionate, enough to erase all doubts about her happiness to see him. It took Jess a split second to put everything else out of his mind and lose himself in the kiss. Placing a hand to her cheek and snaking the other around her waist, he returned and deepened the kiss, his knees made weak by the sweet natural scent of her skin and the berry taste of her lips, her arms around his waist a delicious pleasure. All at once, the urge to feel her body next to him was overpowering. Head spinning, Jess made a move to place both his hands on the small of her back, meaning to draw her near. 

Already though, she was slipping away from him, finally pushing herself away with force. "Oh my God!" she exclaimed as she turned away from him. "Oh my God!" she wailed again.

It was the moment when your alarm clock wakes you from a perfect dream. He wished he could hit the snooze button and make the experience come back. "Rory," he pleaded.

"Don't say a word!" 

The words chilled him. He'd wanted to shout it to the world that Rory Gilmore had kissed him. It hurt a bit to see that she was so obviously distressed by that which had elated him. Disappointed, when he should have been overjoyed, Jess replied the only way he knew how. "OK." 

If she wanted to keep it a secret, he would abide by her wishes.

"I have to go." And she began to run away then, heading back towards the wedding. Before she got too far away, she turned and added "Oh, welcome home!"

Jess wasn't sure what had just happened. What was it Luke had said about Rory and Dean? That they had worked it all out? At least Luke didn't know what he was talking about.

***

The next afternoon, Jess was wiping off tables in the diner. He was still enrolled at Stars Hollow High, as he had never been formally withdrawn, but he'd skipped that day. Luke was, of course, upset that Jess had skipped, but Jess had helped him out with the busy lunch shift and had somehow managed to avoid too much of a lecture.

Jess couldn't have focused on his studies, even if he'd tried. All the night before, he'd been thinking about that kiss, feeling hot and bothered every time he remembered the feel of Rory's silky lips tasting his own. Jess could barely concentrate on anything else. In this state the only thing he was useful for was bussing tables.

Luke had brought up Dean again when Jess returned to help him close up the diner. From all that Luke had said, Jess could have sworn Dean and Rory were still a couple. But how did that fit in with the kiss? The answer was that it quite simply didn't. All day, he'd been thinking of Rory, wondering what the kiss had meant to her, wondering what was going on inside that pretty little confused head of hers. 

This was precisely what was running through his mind, for approximately the 53rd time, when, at shortly after 4:00, Jess heard the jingle of the door chimes. He looked up from where he was rinsing a table to see Lorelai enter the room. She stopped dead when she saw Jess there. He raised an eyebrow and gave her a salute. She narrowed her eyes at him and wordlessly continued over to the counter.

As he watched her take a seat on a stool, Jess noticed something with surprise: normally Luke, being so completely and obviously infatuated with Lorelai, would have gone over immediately to serve her. Today, however, despite having seen her there, he ignored her and continued bickering with Taylor – a man he despised, no less - about the potted plants on the boulevard of Peach Street. Jess observed that Lorelai also wasn't her usual loud, boisterous self. She just sat there, with eyes that looked bleary and bloodshot, lips that looked drawn and tired, looking down at the purse on her lap, waiting.

Finally, his uncle went over to Lorelai and without making chitchat, took her order. "What'll you have?"

"Coffee. To go."

Jess avidly watched this verbal exchange as his hands, on autopilot, continued to wipe a table over and over.

Pouring Lorelai a large coffee, Luke placed it in front of her with indifference, nearly driving the paper cup an inch into the countertop's surface in the process. He said, "All the quicker death to you."

Jess almost dropped a saltshaker in astonishment. It was normal for Luke to nag Lorelai about how much she drank coffee, and about how it was bad for her health, but this time his comment had a much harder edge. Jess saw that his uncle's comment had an effect on Lorelai as well. Her shoulders stiff and her eyes distraught, she tossed some money on the counter and was out the door with her coffee in a flash.

"What was _that?"_

"Never you mind Jess."

Jess ignored Luke's request. He had to know. "What's going on? Are you and Lorelai fighting?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"It's complicated," Luke muttered as he turned to avoid Jess's piercing gaze. Jess had a good idea what had happened, and the idea sickened him.

Following Luke into the kitchen, Jess stepped around Caesar who was about to serve a plate of food. Alone with Luke, Jess asked, "Are you fighting with her because of the car accident?"

Luke tensed. "Jess I said not to-"

"Just tell me."

"Alright yes, that is when we started fighting. But please don't ask me to go into details."

"OK." _Oh, man I guess that means Lorelai hates me for sure now._ The odds of Rory leaving Dean for Jess just got a little steeper.

"Tomorrow you're going to school." Luke said, nimbly changing the subject.

Jess, feeling deflated, readily gave in to the subject-change. "I've already flunked out anyway. There's only a week left. I'll take summer school." Jess tossed his washcloth across the room toward the sink. With disgust, he watched as the rag hit the countertop and rebounded to the floor.

"Oh. Surely there's something you passed. What about English?"

"Well I _am_ able to speak it fluently but apparently that's not enough."

"Tomorrow you're going to school."

"Fine."

***


	5. Part 2 2 : Coming to Terms

RETURNING HOME, PART TWO

CHAPTER TWO. COMING TO TERMS

***

Late the next day, Jess stood at the Gilmore's front door, nervously adjusting his weight from foot to foot. He wasn't used to being nervous at the thought of a girl, especially not one that he had already kissed. The problem was, she hadn't looked all that happy to have kissed him. In fact, she'd looked horrified. To make matters worse, she hadn't set one foot in the diner in the last two days. Only something major could keep a guzzler like Rory away from Luke's coffee. Apparently, her kiss with him had been major; Jess wasn't sure if he should be pleased or worried. 

Jess had waited a couple of days before going to see her, and now he was at her door. He'd knocked a moment ago and finally Rory answered.

"Oh! Jess! Um… come in," she stammered, two spots of pink instantly colouring her cheeks.

"Thanks."

"How are you?" 

"Good. You?"

"Oh um good," she answered, as though surprised he'd asked.

"How's Lorelai?"

"Oh she's at work – working late."

"I didn't ask you _where_ she was, I asked you _how_ she was," he threw back glibly with a smirk. Although, he had to admit, it was nice knowing Lorelai wasn't about to come storming into the room to chase him away with a pitchfork.

Rory's blush grew in intensity. "Oh. She's good too," she uttered and quickly changed the subject. "Would you like something to drink? I think we have some… um… tap water actually."

Jess smiled. "Yes tap water would be _just_ lovely," he teased, loving how flustered she looked.

While she went into the kitchen, Jess took a seat on the living room couch and wrung his hands a couple times. Even now that he was here, he wasn't sure what he should say to her. It was quite some time before she finally came in with two glasses of water.

Jess wasn't particularly thirsty but holding the glass gave his hands something to do. He gratefully accepted the water and took a gulp. "I say Rory, where _do_ you import your tap water from? It's _divine_!"

"Don't torment me Jess." She'd said it lightly, but he could see she was not in the mood for beating around the bush. She looked tired and nervous as she sat down on the extreme opposite side of the couch. _If she were any farther away, she'd be sitting on the armrest,_ he thought.

He cleared his throat and decided to dive right in. "OK. Well, seriously then…" 

Rory instantly hung her head. "I know what you're gonna say."

"Oh really." He was pretty sure she didn't.

"Yeah." Suddenly, she was rambling. "And I'm _so_ sorry about what happened. I… I don't know what came over me. I guess I was just happy to _see _you. But I never should have…" she gulped. "Kissed you like that. I know it was wrong and I'm just so embarrassed about it." 

Avoiding his gaze, she hadn't seen the look of distress momentarily cross his face as she'd spoken. Jess opted for honesty. "Rory… Don't be embarrassed… I was happy to see you too. I always am. And as far as the kiss goes… I didn't think there was anything wrong about it. In fact," he continued slowly, gaining more confidence as he went on, "if you hadn't kissed me, maybe I would've kissed you first."

That got her attention. Her head spun around towards him, causing shimmering layers of hair to spill over her shoulder. "What do you mean?"

Chuckling softly and running a hand through his hair and onto his neck, he answered. "Well I don't know. Have you been living under a rock?" When she just stared at him, he decided to go for broke, no longer caring if his words were revealing too much, "You know I only came back here so I could be near you."

"Oh!" Blushing furiously and seemingly shocked, Rory quickly averted her gaze again. She looked at the dish of candies sitting on the table in front of her, the staircase leading upstairs, the blinking light of the VCR. Really, she looked at anything but Jess. "Well. But. Uh…" He silently observed her as she willed herself to stop stammering. She placed her hands, palms down, in the air on either side of her, as though mimicking some yogic exercise, calmly took a deep breath and switched her intense stare to the coffee table. It had been a fascinating ritual; Jess wished he could replay it. She spoke again. "Well I thought _maybe_… but I didn't _know_." 

"I didn't come back here to see Taylor."

"No I don't suppose you did." She was still staring at the coffee table, as though it were the most mesmerizing piece of furniture she had ever seen.

Jess turned his body towards her, placing a bent leg in front of him on the cushion and resting his arm on the back of the couch. Leaning closer, he tried to catch her gaze. "Rory," he said, stressing his words, "I enjoyed the kiss. Really. All of it except the part where you practically sprained an _ankle_ trying to get away from me." He cleared his throat, took another gulp of water, and spoke more faintly – with more of a childlike hesitancy. "When you ran away, at first I thought maybe I'd done something wrong. You know, pushed you too far or something. But I guess you were just remembering that boyfriend of yours."

"Yeah Dean."

"Meanwhile I was left wishing I'd gotten a better grip on you before you pushed yourself away."

"Really?" With a husky voice, she made it sound more like a statement than a question.

She looked him right in the eye then, and his breath caught in his throat. "Of course. I _told_ you, I enjoyed the kiss. Um. Extremely." _Argh!_ He thought. _'Um. Extremely'? _Jess was no good at these things. His heart pounding, he decided to try and distract her from his gracelessly personal disclosure. He went on playfully, "By the way… I'm all for it if you want to kiss me again." He paused while she chuckled softly. Her laughter gave him the courage to add, "If you _do_, and if you give me some advance notice, maybe I'll be able to hold on to you tighter next time." 

Suddenly Jess felt his cheeks growing hot. Was he really saying these things to Rory? Was he finally and truly losing control of his vocal faculties? He was thankful, for the millionth time in his young life, that his skin tone would hide his blush well. Even still, he backtracked a bit from his flirtations and mumbled "I mean you really did catch me off-guard the other day."

Her lips tugged into a small smile, but he could see a hint of mischief in those eyes. "I'll think about it. Jess?"

"Yeah?"

She held her breath for a moment before going on. "Do you… like me?"

_Here's the million-dollar question!_ he thought breathlessly. What could he say? 'I love you'? Although he was sure it was the truth, he couldn't bring himself to say it; he'd never said it to anyone before. "I think of you remotely as the sort of person that I could occasionally stand to talk to, yeah," he replied with a grin, recalling how she had spluttered that very sentence the day he'd cleaned out the Gilmore's rain gutters. When she responded favourably to his reply, Jess grew relieved that, even in his decidedly dorky mental state, he had come up with something halfway witty to say. With his next question, however, he once again grew tense. "What about you?"

"Me?"

"No, the _other_ you." The joke was meant to release some of his nervous energy. It didn't work. Quietly, almost inaudibly, he asked her "Do you like me?" 

Her voice was soft, but not at all unassertive when she replied "Yeah."

Then she remained silent for a moment, her eyes seemingly haunted. It prompted Jess to put forth "And Dean, huh?" disappointment colouring his words.

"And Dean."

"Huh. Well, wonders never cease."

"Don't say that."

He sighed. "I know. Sorry." He watched as Rory fiddled with her wristwatch for a short period of time. "So now what?"

"I don't know yet."

Jess pursed his lips and nodded his head slightly in a gesture of thoughtful acceptance. "I hope you'll think about it. Um. I mean 'Us'. If there _is _an 'Us'." 

"Would you like there to be an 'Us'?" she squeaked.

Jess pretended to think it over for a moment, nodding his head again in mock-serious ponderance. Then, when he seemingly came up with his answer, he decidedly shook his head once and put on a dopey grin. "Yup," came his one-word response. Rory, biting her lower lip, smiled and briefly cast her eyes downward to the pattern on the couch. That innocent look was _so_ sexy it could have killed Jess right there.

They sat in silence a moment, Rory sneaking peeks at him wonderingly and Jess returning them in kind, before he carried on. "So… I'm gonna go. I'll stop by in a few days, if you'd like. Give you some time to think about it."

He watched her face fall then. "Jess… You should know, I'm going to Washington D.C. for the summer – six weeks. I leave in a couple of days…" By now his face had fallen too. She went on, "Paris and I are going to attend a youth leadership conference there, since we'll be on the student body council next year."

"Oh. What about school? Isn't it still in session?"

"Yeah. For a couple more weeks but Paris and I wrote our finals early so we could have the chance to go on this trip."

He paused, with furrowed brow, and looked down at his shoe before continuing. _Damn, six weeks?_ "Well… I'll miss you."

"You will?"

"Hello? Yeah… I missed you while I was in New York."

"I missed you too."

"I know," he replied gently.

"Oh." They were both speaking softly now, as though some contract had been signed that all discussions about separation should barely be audible.

"So leaving in two days huh? Do you think you'll know what you want by then?" He asked anyway, not thinking that she would.

"I don't know."

"Well, take your time. But I hope, before long, we can work this whole situation out." She nodded at this. "And I hope it works out in my favour," he dared to add in a louder voice, leaning forward with a rakish smile.

Eyes twinkling, she changed the subject, "Hey. Don't get into any trouble while I'm gone."

"Do you have any idea how boring this hokey town is if I _don't_ get into trouble? I plan to play a few more tricks on Doose before this summer's out. Hey!" he continued, clapping a hand to his forehead as if a thought had just occurred to him. "Maybe I _did_ come back here to see Taylor."

"Jess…" she lectured good-naturedly and he laughed. He could tell she wasn't mad at him. "And what about Dean? Are you going to play tricks on him too?"

"Nah…" he said shaking his head. "I don't give a crap about Dean. Only you. If he stays away from me, I'll stay away from him."

"Thank you."

"Actually, I don't think I'll do too many nasty things around here this summer. I promised Luke that things were gonna be different from now on." Jess had meant it too. The only problem was, what would he do with himself with Rory gone all summer? "Ah geez. Speaking of which… I also promised I'd help out more with the diner, including tonight. I guess I should get back there." After a pause he stood up, exhaling audibly but feeling jovial. "Well… I'm gonna get going." 

Following his lead, she rose and they both made their way to the front door. Having opened the door, Jess turned around. To his surprise and delight, she was right behind him. 

Standing close to her in the open doorway, he ran his thumb and fingertips lightly over her cheek and back into her hair, causing her eyes to close momentarily before returning – heavy-lidded – to his face. "I'm glad we got a chance to talk before you left," he added. 

She nodded, looking as though words failed her. With a smile and a slight nod of his head, he turned and left then, hoping that she had been expecting him to kiss her. _Always leave them wanting more_, he thought.

***

Later that night, Jess was just letting the last customers out of the diner. After the door closed behind them, he locked it and turned the 'Open' sign around to reveal 'Please Come Again'. Caesar had left a few minutes ago, having already served the last of the meals and cleaned the grill. Jess, alone in the diner now, cleared the table by the window - the one that Lorelai had been referring to as table five ever since her diner-talk days. Outside it was dark and, with the help of the diner lights, the room was reflected back at him off of the windows. It was silent now and Jess was enjoying it. It gave him a chance to think.

Tonight, as usual, his thoughts were of Rory. Specifically, he pondered the sexy look on her face when, earlier that night, he'd touched her cheek and run his fingers through her hair. He was sure now that she had expected – and wanted – him to give her their second kiss. 

Maybe Jess should have given in to her wishes after all. His not having done so, wasn't for lack of wanting to. It was more due to the fact that she would have to come to some sort of a decision first; he couldn't risk seeing that look of panic and guilt on her face again. 

Gathering the last of the dishes, he decided he would certainly have to see Rory again before she left for D.C. 

The smile – that unbeknownst to him had formed on his face – evaporated when he become conscious that Rory would soon be far away. A wave of loneliness spread through him. She would be even farther away from him than when he'd been in New York.

New York.

With a sigh, his mind drifted to his mother. She was _already_ alone – living in their little space on the fifth floor of the Beavis apartment building, lost somewhere in the heart of Manhattan.

Having placed as much tableware as he could in the dishwasher, he started the machine up and wiped clean the last few plates by hand. His thoughts persisted. He and his mother had gotten along well during the last few days he was there. Even he could see it would be a shame to let that progress slide.

Finished in the kitchen, he walked out towards the dining area. Standing in the doorway, he placed his hands one on either side of the doorframe and leaned forward, stretching the muscles in his chest and arms. Stretching his neck from side to side, he surveyed the scene in front of him, feeling a sense of personal contentment he hadn't felt in a while. For once things were starting to go well for him. Jess turned out the lights before slipping up the stairs to the apartment.

Inside the apartment, he was surprised to find Luke still awake. His uncle was sitting on the couch listening to music by the dim light of a lamp. At first, the older man seemed to be deep in thought, but Luke was immediately aware when the song to which he'd been listening ended. He hit a button on the remote and the song started up all over again.

"You OK?" Jess asked, concerned, kicking off his shoes.

"Yeah." But it wasn't enough to convince Jess.

"What are you listening to?"

"Carolyn Dawn Johnson. 'Complicated'."

Jess only had to hear a few of the lyrics to realize that Luke was thinking about Lorelai.

"You should make up with her." He wasn't just saying that because Luke's making up with Lorelai would make Jess's life easier. He could see – _anyone _could see - that Luke loved and genuinely missed the woman. 

"Who?"

"Lorelai."

"Yeah."

Picking up the portable phone, Jess went into his room and shut the door. He dialed a number and a moment later, his mother answered. As Jess had recently discovered, Luke had missed Jess when he was in New York; maybe there was a good chance his mother missed him too. "Hey there… Yeah. Good. I just wanted to let you know that I made it here alright…"

***

Late the next evening, Jess watched Rory for a brief moment, wondering why fate had decided to take her away from Stars Hollow now. Rory was packing the last of her things, oblivious to his presence. Feeling guilty for staring, Jess knocked on the smooth pane of glass. Whirling around, she put a hand to her chest in surprise, startled to find him standing outside her downstairs bedroom window. Then she smiled and came towards him.

Opening the window, she exclaimed "Hi there!"

"Hi. I didn't mean to startle you," he said as he placed his elbows on the windowsill and leaned against the building. "I just wanted to say goodbye before you left. Tomorrow's the big day huh?"

Smiling, Rory relayed the details. "Yeah we leave tomorrow morning. I'm actually getting a little excited about going."

"That's great." He said sincerely, "I know you'll have a great time." He should receive an Academy Award for the brave face he was putting on.

"Yeah. You know? I think I will. Even _with_ Paris."

He laughed. "I can just imagine," Jess understood her comment all too well as he recalled his heated –albeit enjoyable - discussion with Paris about Jack Kerouac. Then Jess recalled one of the reasons for his late night visit. "Oh! And I wanted to lend you this." He pulled a worn paperback out of his back pocket.

Taking it from him, she stated, "Oh this is a great book."

With a smirk, he lamented "Ah. You've read it. I keep forgetting you've read almost as many books as I have."

"_Almost_ as many?"

"Well _maybe_ more. _I_ wouldn't know," he backtracked good-naturedly. "But anyway, I've written some things in the margins for you."

"Good. I'll definitely read it. It'll be… kinda like I'm taking you with me."

"I'd like that," he said and inwardly glowed at the sight of her blush. 

"Maybe I'll put _you_ in my suitcase," she spoke with a twinkle in her eye.

"Sure, you can pack me next to your undergarments!" he came back, raising his eyebrows twice in quick succession. This earned him a playful swat on the arm and they both laughed.

Reluctantly, not wanting the moment to end, Jess continued, "Well I guess I should be heading back to the diner. I promised Luke I'd help him close up tonight – _A_gain." Jess opened his eyes wide to stress the first syllable of 'again'. _Damn. I always have to close up at such inopportune times, _he thought with frustration.

"I should finish packing anyway. Big day tomorrow." 

Jess stalled a bit longer. "I woulda came earlier, but I noticed Dean was here."

"Oh. Yeah he was here." Her tone remained neutral, noncommittal.

"I woulda come to your door, but the jeep is here. Figured Lorelai was home."

Rory nodded slowly. "She is."

"I should go," he said with a gentle voice, a touch of sadness colouring the words.

She mimicked his tone. "Yeah… Gotta pack."

"See ya."

"Yeah, see ya." But when Jess started to move away from the window, she called him back.

"Yeah?" He questioned.

"Come here." And he did as she asked. She reached through the open window and grasped his wrist, pulling him closer still. Placing her other hand behind his neck, she guided him toward her lips for a gentle kiss. His heart did a two-step and his fingers somehow found their way into the silky hair at the nape of her neck. Jess yielded like putty in her hands. 

His knees were weak again, and, were she not holding onto him, he might not have kept his balance. Was this what it would always feel like to kiss Rory? A dizzying, head-spinning rush? 

He could only hope the kiss was affecting her as strongly – and as favourably - as it did him. He couldn't quite believe it was happening. Part of him was able to relax and enjoy the feel of her soft lips against his; another part of him kept waiting for her to pull back abruptly, panicking again. Happily, she didn't.

When they broke apart, a lazy moment later, she warned, "I don't know what that means yet. But it means something."

"For me too," he breathed as he dazedly ran his fingers through her hair again, his heart pumping excessive amounts of oxygen to his brain. "Keep in touch, OK?" he spoke through the lump in his throat.

"I will. When I get settled in, I'll give you a call." 

Giving her another quick kiss, Jess backed away from the window, smiling wanly. Slowly her grasp shifted from his wrist into his hand, their fingers lingering momentarily together before they parted. Her grin matched his.

He swung himself around the porch pillar and descended the stairs two at a time. Once his feet hit the grass, he turned briefly to look up at her again. She was still watching him with a smile. When he reached the edge of the property she called, "Thanks again for the book!"

"Anytime!" came his reply.

***

Early the next morning, Jess was coming down the stairs from the apartment. He was just about to walk into the diner when he caught a glimpse of Rory at the counter. The smile, which had formed at the sight of her – and at the sight of the dewy lips he had kissed the night before - faded when he noticed Dean and Lorelai were also there. Jess fell back into the shadows and observed them. Rory was just saying goodbye to Luke. Luke, still avoiding Lorelai, came around the counter to give the youngest Gilmore a hug.

"Have a good trip, Rory."

"Thanks Luke. Well, I guess we better get going…" Rory, looked around casually. Jess realized with a jolt, _she's looking for me! Even with Dean standing right there!_ "Tell Jess I said 'bye'," she said before Dean and Lorelai scowled.

Jess popped out of the hallway into the diner, just as Luke was saying, "Will do. Oh Jess." 

"Goodbye? Leaving town, huh?" Jess pretended that he didn't already know, and practiced his most casual facial expression. Dean stared at him with a look nothing short of hatred and slipped a protective arm around Rory's shoulders.

"Yeah. I'm going to Washington, D.C. for a few weeks." She replied, also pretending that they hadn't already talked about the fact twice before.

Jess, aware that everyone's eyes were on him – two pairs of glowering eyes in particular – wished her a good trip. There was nothing more he could say, without blowing her cover. He noticed a look of understanding pass across her face; she knew he wanted to say more.

"Well as I was just saying, we better get going. Paris is probably climbing the walls cause I'm not at the airport extra early. Luke, thanks for the coffee, I'm gonna miss it while I'm gone."

"You're welcome. Have a good time."

Thanks, bye Luke. Bye Jess."

There was a chorus of goodbyes between Rory and the diner's patrons as the Gilmores and Dean turned to leave. Just as Lorelai was about to walk out the door, Luke called out. "Lorelai, see you later."

Lorelai turned, a look of shock melting into one of warmth and happiness. "See you Luke." 

Jess watched the trio through the window as they climbed into Lorelai's jeep. Dean was going to the airport with Rory. And before she would board the plane, she would kiss Dean, with the approval of her watching mother. Jess sighed. He felt like such a paramour.

***

AUTHOR'S NOTE

Thanks to everyone who took the time to review my story. You guys are great and your kind words give me the strength and the stamina to continue with my story. Good and/or bad reviews are welcome so keep 'em coming!

I still have a few more chapters up my sleeve but I'm writing most of them from scratch and I'm a slooooow writer. Please be patient! Thanks.


	6. Part 2 3 : Just Getting By

RETURNING HOME, PART TWO

CHAPTER THREE. JUST GETTING BY 

The morning that Rory left for Washington, Jess tidied up a little bit around the diner before he headed off to school. Jess was finally attending school that day at the insistence of Luke, but he planned to actually pay attention of his own accord.

On the way to his first period English class, he stopped by his locker, wondering if it had been emptied while he was away. The lock was still on it. That was a good sign. He grasped the combination lock and absently twirled the dial, trying to remember his combination. Before long, his twirling turned to daydreaming and he had to forcefully snap himself out of it. '23-2-47' he dialed with new resolve and, in an abrupt movement, jerked the door open. Inside everything was exactly how he'd left it, notebooks unceremoniously dumped at the bottom, textbooks pristine and unopened.

No. The locker hadn't changed at all. _And why should it have?_ he then realized; he'd only been gone for a couple weeks. However, unlike the contents of his locker, so much had changed for Jess in that short time.

Jess grabbed a notebook which he assumed contained his meagre assortment of English homework and closed his locker. Inside the classroom, Jess slid into a desk moments before the bell rang.

The teacher, Mrs. Green, was shocked to see Jess there. "Well, well, well. Mr. Mariano, you return for the last week of school. To what do we owe this pleasure?" Sarcasm was evident in her voice. Apparently Mrs. Green, a stout woman in both demeanour and physical form, had not expected him to come back, nor had she really wanted him to. Jess didn't blame her. He'd only offered the bare minimum of participation in her class, a practice which was obviously unacceptable to her.

Jess felt slightly uncomfortable at having been singled out by her. Jess may have seemed the type to play the arrogant attention-grabber in school, but the truth was, he preferred to just go about his business alone. Sure, he caused a scene when the mood struck him. But when he did, he usually kept a low profile about it; it was more fun that way. Embarrassed and unsure of how to respond to Mrs. Green's outburst, Jess remained silent.

The teacher went on, "The class has been reading 'The Pearl'. It's too late for you to read it and take part, but at least you can listen in on the discussion."

"I've read it. A number of times."

"You have?" More sarcasm. He coulda smacked her.

Maybe it was the look of blatant disbelief on her irksome face, but suddenly Jess _was_ struck by the urge to cause a scene, low profile be damned. "Yeah, and I've gotta say, I've always been impressed with Steinbeck's use of imagery and symbolism," Jess rambled. "The way he described the Gulf as the villagers' source of livelihood but also as something they couldn't trust; the way that he showed that _learned_ people are not _necessarily_ using their knowledge for good: He really brought the message home that things aren't _always_ what they seem." Jess was really getting warmed up now. He went on, "And I liked the way Steinbeck illustrated Kino's degrading opinion of wealth by first describing the pearl as beautiful, with theme music 'shrilling with triumph', and then finally as a _gray, malignant growth_, with music that was '_distorted_ and _insane_'. But I gotta tell you, I never really liked the whole _oppression_ theme. Racial discrimination is _so_ depressing, don't you think?"

Mrs. Green just stared. Her jaw hung down to the floor. A few students snickered. Jess smiled.

The rest of Jess's day was good too.

***

Three days later, Luke had given Jess the afternoon off. After contemplating what to do, Jess resigned himself to fate, pulled out his math textbook and flopped down on his bed. He could still take the final exam next week and see what happened. As he flipped the book open to a chapter on geometry, the phone rang.

Jess picked up the portable phone, which - as Luke had complained the day before - had been conspicuously kept beside Jess's bed since Rory's departure. He hit the 'talk' button and said "Yeah?"

"Jess. Hi."

The textbook slipped off his lap and hit the floor with a dull thwack as he realized who had phoned. His insides were fluttery, but he hoped his voice was the epitome of cool when he answered Rory "Hey."

"How are you?"

"Good. How's D.C. treating you?"

"It's not bad. What were you doing?"

Jess glanced at the math book, now just peeking out from under his bed. "I was just listening to some music."

"I don't hear any music."

"That's because I turned it off. I was just about to go out and wreak some havoc," he teased her.

"Oh."

He grew serious. "Actually, I was just about to start some studying."

"_You?_"

"Yeah me," he said indignantly, shaking his head into the phone as though she could see his actions.

"What? No ice cream in a cone first?"

"A guy's gotta watch his figure."

She laughed. "I never get a straight answer from you Jess! Why didn't you just tell me that you were studying?"

"Wouldn't want these things to get out, you know. I have a reputation to uphold."

"Uh huh." He could _hear_ her smile. "Then why did you tell me in the end? Aren't you afraid I'll leak your secret?"

"I figured you wouldn't hold it against me. My being studious, I mean."

"No I wouldn't," she said, becoming serious. "What were you studying?"

"Math. Getting ready for exams."

"Oh… Well good luck with that. Break a leg… or an HB pencil or something. I'll let you get back to your studying."

"No, stay. I already know I'm gonna fail the class anyway."

"Don't say that. You'll pass."

"You're batty."

"No I'm not. Don't say you're gonna fail if it's not true."

"But it is true. I didn't do any work this year. But I'm gonna take summer school," he resolved. "I want to start trying now." 

"Oh. That's good." She spoke slowly. "I'm glad to hear that you're trying now, Jess. But why the change of heart?"

"I've developed psychic abilities. I'm channeling Pythagoras of Samos as we speak."

"Seriously though."

He sighed. "I don't want you to be embarrassed by me," Jess admitted quietly, his cheeks growing flushed.

"Embarrassed! How? I would never be embarrassed of you!"

"Wouldn't you? If I got held back a year?"

"Confused and surprised maybe, but not embarrassed."

"Why confused and surprised?"

"Jess, you shouldn't be held back. I _know_ how smart you are. I'd be surprised you never wanted to show anyone _else_ how smart you are."

"Why would you be surprised? You know me better than almost anyone."

"Do I?"

"Yeah."

"Maybe I know you. I still don't understand you."

***

Just under a week later, Jess was trudging out of his math final, a probable waste of time. As he was heading down the hall towards the exit doors, Mrs. Green, his English teacher - or should he say _former_ English teacher, as the class was now thankfully finished - stepped out of another classroom. She called out to him. With annoyance and a tad bit of apprehension, Jess stopped and went over to where she was standing. "Yeah?"

"I just wanted to let you know that I marked your exam. You aced it."

"I did?"

"You sure did."

"So what? You think I cheated or something?"

"Well quite frankly, while you were writing it, I watched you like a hawk. But I am pleased to say; I have no doubts that everything you wrote in that exam was straight out of your spikey-haired head. And it was very good." She smiled now. It was a look she normally saved for the 'gifted' students and other such brown-nosers. Jess had never expected that look to be focused on _him_. 

She went on, "The multiple choice questions were all correct and your essays were especially pleasing: well thought out and insightful. Impeccable grammar considering the nature of on-demand essays. The exam was worth quite a bit of your final grade, you know. Congratulations Mr. Mariano, you _actually passed_ English 11." 

"Really," Jess stated with barely veiled awe but no audible excitement. The news had come as a bit of a shock to him, even though Jess _had_ gone all out for that exam. He'd considered each question carefully, his answers coming from his own judgement rather than from any notes he'd memorized, much less taken. He'd written on all three essay topics while the exam had only called for two.

Mrs. Green looked at him, as if expecting more of a response out of him. "I had no idea you paid so much attention in class."

"I didn't."

"OK…?" she voiced, a speculative expression on her face.

"I like to read," Jess said simply.

She accepted this new bit of information with a warm smile on her face. "Well, I hope you have a good summer Jess."

"Thanks," he said. She seemed to expect him to say more so he added "See ya." And with mutual nods of newfound approval, he was once again heading for the door.

***

Jess was feeling good as he stepped into the diner a few minutes later. 

Inside, he found Lorelai was sitting at a table in the back, alone. Looking at her, Jess decided it just wasn't right: when Lorelai was in the diner without Rory, she should be sitting at the counter, close to Luke. Apparently the headway Luke and Lorelai had made the week before had backtracked. Oh well. At least Lorelai was staying in the diner now, not getting chased away in tears. That was something.

Jess followed Luke into the storage room. "You still giving Lorelai the cold shoulder?", he asked, putting his own day behind him and focussing on Luke instead.

"No." Luke said as he grabbed a jar of pickles off a shelf and headed back towards the kitchen. He tried to shake Jess, but to no avail.

"I'm not sure I believe you."

"Well believe me."

In the kitchen, Jess tried again. "Did you talk to her _at all_ today?"

"Look Jess, quit pestering me." Luke implored, handing the jar of pickles to Caesar. "I have to go serve coffee now."

"I bet Lorelai needs coffee."

"I'm sure she does," Luke replied with his classic dull edged sarcasm.

"And while you're pouring her that coffee, you can talk to her and finally make up once and for all." Jess bullied, now pushing Luke out from behind the counter, directly over to Lorelai's table. Lorelai was watching the whole display of course. With no one to talk to, dejected observation was her only viable option.

"Lorelai," Jess announced upon their arrival. "Luke is here to offer you some coffee."

"Oh. Good. I was running a little low," she answered quietly with a hopeful expression. Luke poured the coffee and was about to make a hasty getaway but Jess held him in place.

"Come on." Jess argued. "Look at her. She's pathetic." 

A look of indignancy shot across her face. However an instant later she replaced it, deciding to augment Jess's words with a look of heartbreaking tragedy. Jess went on "Her daughter - nay, her _best friend_ - is gone all summer. And now you won't talk to her? For _shame_."

"Jess," grunted Luke.

"And you!" Jess added, eyeing Luke steadily. "Walking around here, biting people's heads off just cause you miss her!"

Luke sighed. "Geez! Is solitude a dirty word around here?"

"Now go on. Sit down with her. Technically I have the afternoon off, but I will work, cause I'm in a good mood." Jess struck a pose of selfless nobility before continuing. "You two crazy kids talk. Make up. _Don't_ make me watch this pitiful charade of ignoring each other _any_ longer! I have my _own_ sanity to think about, you know." Before Luke could protest, Jess had pushed him into a chair and lifted the coffee pot from his hand.

Jess was aware of the two initially watching him as he made the rounds with the coffee. However, much to Jess's satisfaction, they soon forgot about him and began talking in earnest.

***

That evening Jess retired to his bedroom. Math had been the last of his exams and now he was _free_! Pulling a book off his dresser, he settled down to devour 'The Partner' by John Grisham. But when the phone rang, he pounced on that instead, the book forgotten. It was Rory. "Hey!" he said.

"Hey yourself," she came back charmingly.

"What's up?"

"Nothing. A bunch of us were in Union Station today. It reminded me of Grand Central Station and I thought of you. So I thought I'd call, that's all."

_Ah. She'd been thinking about him. Life was good,_ he thought, lying back on his bed once more, propped up by two pillows. "Well it's good to hear from you."

"What have you been up to?"

"Finished my last exam today. I was just about to read Grisham's 'The Partner'."

"Oh I hear that one's good. I haven't read it yet though."

"No I haven't either, I was just about to start it when you phoned."

"Hey Jess," she inquired.

"Yeah?"

"When did you become such an avid reader?"

"Oh!" He thought it over a moment. "Probably in elementary school. We moved to a new neighbourhood when I was young. I didn't have many friends at my new school, you know, due to my… well… _complete_ lack of social skills," he admitted sheepishly. He could hear her giggle over the line and he laughed along with her. "So I would hide out in the library at recess a lot."

"Well you've always been very sociable with me."

"Thanks. How 'bout you?"

"Me? Well my mom says I got it from my grandfather because he likes to read too. But back then, we never saw my grandparents much. Personally, I think it has more to do with the fact that, when I was young, we didn't have a lot of money for entertainment so I would go to the library a lot. Make my own entertainment."

"Hmmm," Jess said thoughtfully. A contented smile grabbed hold of his lips as he removed a pillow from his bed so he could recline further. He settled back to enjoy a nice long conversation with Rory.

Quite some time later, Rory sighed and said "Well I should go. I'm not gonna be able to afford my phone bill here."

"Rory you can call me collect anytime you want. I'll pay for the call." 

"Oh. You're sure?" 

"Sure I'm sure. In fact, can I have your phone number so I can call you sometime?" 

"Oh! Sure," she replied, seemingly surprised that he would want to call her. _Silly girl. Little does she know she's never far from my mind!_ he reflected. She relayed the number and he jotted it down in his book. 

"This was fun," she stated a moment later, referring to their long, meandering conversation. 

"Yes. It was," he agreed, smiling again. 

"I should go." 

"Yup." 

"Well… bye." 

"Bye." 

"See ya." 

"See ya," he chuckled at their poorly disguised round of stalling. 

She laughed too. "I'm actually going to hang up now…" 

"OK… Bye." 

"Bye." He could hear her laughing still as she gently replaced the receiver. He lay there for a time, hugging the phone to his chest with eyes twinkling and heart full of love. 

*** 

It was the next day and Jess was just finishing up a shift at the diner. Lorelai, happily caffeinated, was sitting at the counter and Luke was in the kitchen preparing his fluffy pancakes for her - breakfast pancakes in the _afternoon _no less. _As it should be_, Jess thought, content that their fight was now over. 

Before Jess could disappear upstairs, Lorelai put a hand on his forearm and stopped him. She spoke warmly, "Jess, thanks. You know, for… what you did for Luke and me." 

Jess smiled but couldn't resist joshing her. "What? You think I did that for _you_? No. Luke is annoying as hell when you're not around and I have to _live_ with the guy!" Jess threw back, causing a laugh to bubble up in her throat. 

"Come on. You're not that selfish. You actually care, don't you? I guess Rory was right." 

"About what?" 

Lorelai sighed, but not unhappily. "She likes you. She _loves_ you. To be honest, at first I was considering taking her to a shrink to figure out why she has such a tendency towards self-destruction, but now I kinda hafta admit: I see it." 

"See it?" Jess raised an eyebrow, intensely interested. He had to wonder what Rory had been telling her mother.

"Yes. _See_ it." 

"It?" Jess asked again, smirking and enjoying her apparent discomfort. Lorelai had meant to be cryptic. Jess wasn't going to let her off the hook that easily. 

"Yeah. What she sees in you."

"What _does_ she see in me?"

Lorelai rolled her eyes and then fixed a thoughtful gaze on him, as an artist eyeing his model might. "Well… Underneath the seemingly impenetrable veneer of disgruntled youth and bad-boy good looks, there hides the soul of a considerate person, there beats the heart of an essentially good guy. That… and a little Roger Taylor. Of Duran Duran fame, not Queen."

"Huh." 

"Yup." 

"You're cracked." 

"Good Guy! Good Guy!" she taunted happily, a musical lilt to her voice as she pointed at him with both index fingers.

Jess smirked at Lorelai but waited until he was safely upstairs and out of earshot before bursting out laughing. 

Jess had the apartment to himself that evening. The laughter from his intriguing conversation with Lorelai subsiding, Jess flung himself on the couch and flicked the TV on. _What to do? What to do?_ he thought. Of course, nothing looked interesting on any of the channels, so he turned the TV off again. Grabbing a random book off the shelf by the window, he plodded into his bedroom and dropped down on his bed, lying flat on his back. For a few minutes the book remained unopened on his chest. The phone wasn't ringing. 

Jess resisted the urge to call Rory. They'd talked for over an hour only the night before and he didn't want to seem too eager. Besides, as far as he knew, she was still technically with Dean. 

So he didn't phone Rory. And he didn't go out, since Stars Hollow wasn't exactly known for it's lively entertainment. At least not it's lawful entertainment. Jess was bored. 

***

Jess was heading the short distance toward Stars Hollow High School. Classes were over, exams were written. All that remained was to pick up his report card. Jess stepped into the school. Masses of students he'd seen many times, but had never known, milled around him, laughing and getting signatures in their yearbooks. Jess ignored them and headed for his homeroom. When he received his report card, his theories were confirmed: English and Directing & Scriptwriting were the only two classes that he had passed. 

Jess sighed and once again stepped into the hallway. He passed the happy students calling out to one another and found himself in Counsellor Labret's office. Ms. Labret was a no-nonsense woman and Jess had had quite a few run-ins with her before, both for pranks he'd pulled and for classes he'd ditched. "You want to take summer school?" she asked in quasi-disbelief when he told her the reason for his visit. "Tell me you're not just wasting my time." 

"Since when is a student's education a waste of time?" 

"No. That's not what I meant…" Her hardened expression softened completely when she gauged his sincerity. "Of course we can enroll you in summer school, if that's what you want. So let's take a look at your records, shall we?" She went over to the bank of filing cabinets and opened a drawer marked _M-N_. She pulled out a thick file, the size of which made even Jess's eyes grow wide in surprise. 

"We'll just ignore all the violations and cut straight to the academics," she continued, delving into the file. "Hmm. Not too good. There are a lot of fails and incompletes here. Oh! But says here you passed English. Granted with a C-, but at least you passed. That's good. You won't have to take English in summer school then." 

Jess inwardly thanked himself once again for putting in an effort on that English exam. He hadn't expected to pass the class, and his first instinct had been to abandon the cause entirely.

"Let's see…" The woman said, reaching for a form. "You'll need to take a science. So what will it be, Jess? Biology, Chemistry or Physics?" 

"Biology." 

"OK. And we'll put you in regular Math 11. That alright?" 

"Sure." 

"Social Studies 11 will be the third and final class," the counsellor said, ticking off the course. "You'll still be missing the second language requirement because you can't take more than three remedial academic courses in one summer session. You'll have to take Spanish 11 over again in the fall." 

The woman uttered a tired sound and removed her stylish glasses. "I won't lie to you Jess, this is going to be a heavy load. Each class is an hour and a half in length, every day. Plus you will have, at the bare minimum, 2 hours homework per night. You're going to have to attend regularly _and_ participate. You sure you're up to the challenge?"

"Gonna have to be," was all he said. Truthfully, without the structure that summer school would bring, the summer would stretch out unbearably. Rory was gone and Jess had no other friends in Stars Hollow. Jess was almost looking forward to his studies beginning.

*** 

AUTHOR'S NOTE 

_Now_ I know why so many authors on here beg for reviews! It's hard to know if a story is any good - or if it is being read at all! - without any feedback. Please review my story, even if it is just to say I'm too long-winded and my characterization sucks. I need the feedback - good and bad. Let me know that my story is being read. To those of you who already reviewed, thanks so much! 


	7. Part 2 4 : Balance and Structure

RETURNING HOME, PART TWO

CHAPTER FOUR. BALANCE AND STRUCTURE

***

It was the first day of summer school. As if taunting him, the weather outside was perfect that day. Jess stepped out of his math class and checked his schedule. His second class was biology in room 103, just down the hall. Jess strolled into the classroom a few minutes before the bell with a sigh. Math was going to be a killer; hopefully biology would be better. He had to keep reminding himself that he didn't want to end up a year behind Rory. Jess selected a seat near the back of the class and, upon plopping himself down in the chair, he crossed his arms on the table and used them to cradle his drowsy head.

Jess was drifting into a restful state when he heard the voice of a teacher calling the class to attention. Then the voice singled him out in particular. "Jesse, is it?"

Jess sighed and resigned himself to fate. He sat up and blinked at the class. All eyes were turned to him. "It's Jess. Just Jess."

"Oh. Sorry. Jess. Well as I was saying, since this is a small class, I think it would be better if we all sat up at the front of the room. There's a perfect seat right over here."

Jess glanced around at the roughly 15 students in the class, his gaze finally falling on the empty chair the teacher had indicated. Without a word, he grabbed his notebook and his pen and trudged up to the front of the classroom. Jess never sat at the front of a classroom, if he could avoid it.

The teacher introduced himself as Ned Clark. He seemed a laid back sort of guy and insisted that everyone address him by his first name. He then guided the class through introductions. One by one, each student announced his or her name and stated something about his or herself. Ned injected banter into the discussion, when warranted, and jotted their names down in a notebook, taking attendance and drafting a seating plan.

Eventually, the boy to Jess's left, the one who shared a table with Jess and was now presumably his science partner, was introducing himself. "Derek Maser," the boy said. "And there are _any number_ of places I would rather be than stuck in a classroom in the middle of summer!" _Here here!_ thought Jess.

"Geez. I know what you mean!" Ned replied. "Right now I could have been hiking in the foothills of Montana. I love that country. But, alas, here I am. What would you be doing, Derek, if you weren't here?"

"Probably staying with my brother out west, surfing or something. Playing basketball. I don't know. Working part time."

"So why are you here instead?"

Derek looked shy when he continued. "Oh. Well, I want to major in medicine in college. I wanted to improve my bio grade."

"Oh! Admirable," Ned stated, pleased. After finishing with Derek, Ned turned to Jess "And last but not least we have Jess 'Just Jess'," he checked his list, "Mariano."

"Yuh," Jess answered in the affirmative with the bare minimum required articulatory effort.

"And what brings _you_ to the wonderful summer edition of Biology 11?"

"My failing grade courtesy of non-participation and/or outright non-attendance."

"Ah, a slacker!" Ned rubbed his hands together in glee.

"In the flesh."

"Well just be sure to slouch defiantly in your chair at all times. Oh. And feel free to insert disruptive sarcastic remarks where applicable."

"I think I can handle that."

Ned laughed then and said "But seriously folks. We're all here for a reason, whatever it may be. I'm a fairly good-natured guy about most things, but I _do_ insist that everyone do his best in this class. We're all wasting the summer away by being here, so let's at least make it worth our while. _Everyone_ is going to pass this class." With that the energetic man began to hand out textbooks. "We're gonna start with chapter 13…" he was saying.

***

After his bizarre first biology class, Jess was able to slip over to the diner for a quick lunch. He tossed that morning's textbooks onto the diner's kitchen counter and proceeded to make himself a sandwich. Finishing that, he sat down at a table in a back corner of the kitchen, choosing to eat alone rather than with the diner's patrons. He looked at his textbooks, while he chewed thoughtfully. They were each terribly thick, he noted with gloom. It was going to be a long summer. 

_Just looking at these textbooks is enough to put a guy to sleep_, he thought. It was a good thing Ned had been so lively in his lecture about plant life that day. Turned out, Ned had just the right tongue-in-cheek teaching style to keep Jess's attention. Math class was going to downright suck, but it looked like biology would be amusing, what with the wacky teacher. 

Forty minutes later Jess was headed to classroom number 216 to find out what his third, and final, class - Social Studies - was going to be like. As it turned out, the Socials teacher, Mr. North, was a good deal stricter than Ned had been, and he promptly set about organizing alphabetical seating.

"Hey Slacker!" Derek Maser greeted as he was assigned the seat behind Jess.

"Hey Doc," came Jess's reply. "You trying to upgrade your marks in this class too?" Jess asked as the teacher continued shuffling people around.

"Nah. I failed this one," Derek replied sheepishly. "History and geography are not my forte."

"Me neither."

"You failed this one too, Slacker?"

"Yeah. Well it's been a rough year. Actually, last year was too, only last year I _didn't_ take summer school and they held me back. Didn't want to get held back again so here I am." Jess wasn't particularly sure why he was volunteering this information to a stranger. Maybe it was Derek's friendly face. "It's been a rough couple of years," he reiterated, not wanting Derek to think he was dumb or something.

"Yeah, I guess!" Derek replied, apparently not put off by Jess's admission.

"Didn't want my uncle to be right," Jess went on. "Didn't want to end up being the guy in the back listening to Steely Dan."

"Huh?"

"Never mind," Jess said with a chuckle.

"Eww. Steely Dan," Derek muttered as the teacher was finally satisfied with the seating arrangement and called the class to order. Jess turned back to the front of the classroom, a smile on his face and a laugh threatening to bubble forth. He couldn't agree more.

***

When the bell rang signalling the end of the Social Studies class, Jess let his forehead drop down on the desk. He already had a mountain of history homework. _Ugh,_ he thought, sitting there while his new classmates were filing out of the room.

"See ya, Slacker," called Derek as he too got up to leave.

"See ya," Jess replied, not moving. In time, the students, and the teacher as well, had vacated the room. Jess stayed there, alone in the classroom, for quite a while. He wasn't even thinking, just spacing out.

Finally - when he realized that, if he rested his head on the desk any longer, he was liable to drool all over himself - he gathered his books and headed out. Downstairs, Jess slipped out of the building using the back door, exiting out by the playing fields. 

It was still a nice day outside: sunny, but not too hot. Birds were chirping in the trees around the building and a few students were sprawled on the green lawn, sunning themselves. Already, Jess observed as he headed for the diner, there was an afternoon pickup game of basketball taking place. It reminded him of the games he and his friends would play back at the court on Bleecker and 6th.

One newly familiar face on the basketball court stood out in particular. On the spur of the moment, Jess called out to him, "Hey Derek! Is there room for one more?"

"Well, we meet again!" Derek called back, behind the play. "Sure. You're on my team; these guys are whipping our asses!"

Jess tossed his books on the sidelines and the two of them dashed across the court to catch up with the play.

*** 

Later that afternoon, Jess chose a table at the far end of the diner and aimlessly flipped open his science text. _If I can just read chapter 13, then I can take a break,_ he thought. His eyes drifted up from the book, however, as a couple of customers walked into the diner. Jess inexplicably stared at them as they discussed which table they would like to sit at. "No! Gotta read this chapter," he muttered. He forced his eyes back to the book, but it was easier said than done. The supper rush was going to start soon. There were too many distractions in the diner.

Finally Jess grunted, packed up his books and went upstairs. Once inside the apartment, Jess flopped down in front of the coffee table and again turned to chapter 13. He didn't read it though. Instead, he counted the pages. "Thirty-two pages," he murmured in disgust. He flipped back to the beginning of the chapter and tried to read it. 

In the silence that ensued, Jess became acutely aware of a clock ticking somewhere in the apartment. Jess had never noticed an analog clock in the apartment before and, in irritation, he searched the room with his eyes for the source of the infernal ticking. He found it right above the stereo, thereby causing him to realize why he'd never heard the clock before: when in the apartment, he usually blasted his music. 

Sitting in front of his textbook, Jess stared blankly at his stereo a moment. He thought maybe his Danko Jones CD was in there, and he found his thoughts drifting to the kick-ass guitar licks on track three. When he caught on to the fact that his mind was wandering again, he exasperatedly threw his arms up in the air. "It's impossible to read when you _have_ to do it!" He sighed. He couldn't concentrate in here either. There were too many distractions in the apartment.

Finally inspiration struck. Jess gathered up his books again and headed back down the stairs to the diner. A couple minutes later, Jess was sitting on the floor, leaning up against the wall, in between jars of pickles and industrial sized vats of ketchup. He was in the diner's storage room, concentration coming at last.

***

The following Friday, after a long first week of summer school, Jess was ready to have some fun. Jess trotted onto the basketball court eager for the chance to unwind. A few of the guys were already there, Jess's lab partner included. 

Jess and Derek seemed to be forging a good friendship. As it turned out, they had more in common than a healthy dislike for Steely Dan. Quite a bit more. Well, with the _possible_ exception of Derek's strongly held career aspirations. Jess wasn't quite as firm in his career goals as the other boy was. 

Jess was also coming to realize that some of the other regulars on the basketball court - Bobby, Neil and Laird in particular - were good guys as well. Jess was starting to feel like part of a social circle, a feeling he hadn't held since life had taken him away from New York all those many months ago.

That day, after Jess and Derek helped beat the pants off their team's opponents, Jess invited Derek back to the diner for a victory Coke. The exuberant Derek had readily agreed. On their way, the two recapped - in hilarious, imitative slow-motion playbacks - some of the more notable parts of that day's game. Their high-spirited conversation strayed to other topics besides basketball as well.

"Nah. You won't catch me reading that stuff," Derek was saying some time later, as the two of them sat at the counter, munching on the snacks Jess had snagged.

"Hey. Really. Austen and Bronte are not that bad. Don't knock it if you haven't tried it."

"What are you? A romantic or something?"

"Guess so."

"I dunno. When I read, which is not often, but it _does_ occur from time to time, science fiction is really more my thing."

"To each his own," Jess was saying tolerantly, as Luke came up to him, balancing three plates of burgers and fries. Jess turned his attention to his uncle. "What?"

"Jess. I forgot to tell you, Rory called this afternoon. _Again_." Luke stressed in his dry wit. "I swear you two are acting more like lovesick teenagers everyday: Tying up the phone at all hours." Luke was rolling his eyes. "Geez," he added as he took off to serve the plates to the waiting customers in the back.

"Oh. Thanks." Jess replied, slightly embarrassed by Luke's grumblings.

Derek turned to Jess. "Rory Gilmore?"

Jess almost choked on a fry, his eyes opening wide. "Yeah. Why?" It surprised him to note that Derek knew whom they were talking about. Luke was going to have to be more careful about what he said in public: the walls apparently had ears. Jess would mention it to him the next chance he got.

"Isn't that Dean's girlfriend?"

Jess felt the floor drop out from beneath his stool. This was apparently worse than he'd thought. "Ah geez! Don't tell me you're _Dean's_ friend."

"Yeah. Well, no not really. I mean he often plays basketball with us. That's how I know him."

"I've been playing basketball with you guys every day this week. I haven't seen him there once."

"That's cause he's working full time this summer. He only plays on weekends nowadays."

_Guess I won't be playing basketball on weekends then,_ thought Jess. He tried to steer the subject away from Rory. "How can you be so cool and _still_ be friends with a cheeseball like Dean?"

Derek laughed. "My bad," he said, popping a fry into his mouth. Jess's steering hadn't worked. "You seeing Rory or something?"

"No. Friends," Jess muttered, cramming more fries into his mouth. "Luke was just teasing me." Thankfully, Derek let it drop.

*** 

A few days later, Jess was ensconced in the diner's quiet storage room, reading about the life and times of Louis Riel from his extremely boring text book. How was it that Jess could read documentaries on _any _subject under the sun, but let _one_ teacher assign a textbook reading, and Jess could barely get through it for yawning so much? He had a few more pages to go before he was done for the night.

Luke walked in on him then, carrying a box of groceries and supplies into the room. "Oh! Jess, there you are." He stopped. "What are you doing in the pantry?"

"Studying," Jess replied, giving Luke a 'duh' look and shaking his head slightly, as though it were the only logical reason anyone would be in the pantry.

"I've been looking for you. Rory phoned about fifteen minutes ago. I told her I'd get you to call her when I found you."

"Oh thanks, Luke," Jess replied. He removed his Socials text from his lap, tucked in a sheet of his homework as a bookmark, and pushed his papers up against the wall. He left the room as Luke continued to restock the shelves of the pantry.

Upstairs, Jess picked up the phone and dialed the number he knew by heart. When he heard a voice on the other end of the line, he inquired, "Rory?"

"Jess! Hey! I just called you."

"I know. Luke found me. What's up?"

"Nothing. Hey Jess! I'm coming home in nine days."

"Is it getting to be that time already?" he drawled.

"Yup."

"I know," he said smiling. "You already told me that, the _last_ few times we talked."

"Did I?"

"Yeah. But the _last_ time, you said _ten_ days. And the time before that, _eleven_ days…" he proclaimed all knowingly.

She giggled. "I guess I'm just excited." 

"I guess!" She certainly sounded excited.

"I can't wait to see you," she said, causing a warm feeling to spread through his body just as surely as the warm smile was spreading across his face.

"You know; I won't mind _one bit_, seeing you again either. How are you?"

"Good. Can't you tell?"

Jess chuckled. "Yeah, I can tell. You sound like you're bouncing."

"I am," she said and they both laughed. "I can't help it. It was a good day, and there are only _nine days_ till I'm back home!"

"You know what?"

"What?"

"I have it on good authority that, tomorrow, there will only be _eight_ days till you get back."

"Wow! _Eight days._ I can't wait!"

"I've missed you," Jess said with off-handed sincerity.

"How can you miss me? We talk on the phone like everyday."

"Guess I missed _seeing_ you then." His eyes involuntarily rolled, but his body was still saturated with warmth. It felt good to be able to admit his feelings to Rory.

Rory's voice took on a more serious tone; she had apparently calmed down. "I know what you mean. I missed you too, Jess." 

"Good," he said, grinning. When he heard that, and the way that she had spoken his name, it was all he could do to keep from floating off into the stratosphere. Jess changed the subject, bringing himself back down to Earth so as to prevent any fruity comments from passing through his lips, "How's Paris doing?"

"Paris? She's doing great. She's totally in her element here. And she and I are getting along just fine. I have to admit, I was a little worried about it before, but no, Paris has been great, a real friend even. Still, I can't wait to see everyone back at home."

_Everyone?_ Jess wondered and then sighed, his grin fading a bit. _Everyone._ Jess finally dared to ask her the question that had been burning in his mind for weeks. "So… you still talking to Dean, or what?"

"Oh!" came her uncomfortable response. "Yeah…" She was speaking slowly now, hesitatingly. "Actually I was gonna call him after I talked to you."

"Oh." Jess's chin involuntarily jutted out to the side in irritation. He had to push a crop of irrational thoughts out of his mind: it wasn't like they'd agreed to be _faithful_ to one another or anything. And really, when it came right down to it, he had always known that she was still calling Dean.

"Jess? You still there?"

Jess forced his jaw to slacken before answering. He took a deep breath and relaxed his shoulders. Feigning comfortable detachment, he replied, "Yeah I'm here." 

"Oh… Good," she still sounded nervous. "We still good?"

"We're good." Jess tried to sound upbeat. "Whatever. He's your boyfriend. Of _course_ you're gonna call him."

"Um… Yeah." She sounded sad.

_She probably thinks I don't want to talk to her anymore,_ Jess assumed. But Jess did. Dean be damned, Jess could not have kept himself from talking to her even if he'd wanted to. Boyfriend or not, Jess could not be anything _but_ devoted to Rory, could not be anything less than her friend. "We're good! We're good! Don't _wor_ry," Jess tried to reassure her. 

"Jess. Can I tell you something?"

"Yeah," he said with a trace of melancholy.

"I don't know if I'd call Dean my boyfriend anymore… I…"

Jess's depression evaporated. His brain was buzzing. Buzzing. Buzzing and whirling. He held his breath and pressed the phone closer to his ear, trying to make sense out of the tiny sounds she was creating on the other end of the line. "Go on," he urged in a soft voice, barely louder than a whisper.

"I don't know."

"You can tell me."

"Jess… I really don't know. I…" She sighed. "I'm sorry if I'm not making any sense. I'm just really confused."

"Huh," he grunted, feeling a little let down. "Me too," he said, a trace of his old sarcasm returning. She was confused. She was confus_ing_. Jess didn't know what to think.

"I'll figure it out Jess. I promise."

"OK," he replied. 

"I owe it to myself to see what happens when I get home."

Jess sighed shakily and nodded. Sitting on the edge of his bed now, he placed an elbow on his knee, dumped his cheek into his hand and stared at the floor, considering this for a moment. Unfortunately, he had to agree with her. He had to think that these were not the kind of things that could be decided over the phone. 

"I understand," he began but then halted. He _thought_ he understood. But then again, there was no ambivalence in _his_ mind about the way he felt about her. He added, "You're gonna be home soon, you know."

"I know. I can't _wait_ to see you."

"Really?"

"Really."

Jess's mood started to elevate again. The admission she had made about Dean _had_ been a _huge_ step for her. In the past, she'd always clung to the idea that Dean was her boyfriend, and always would be. At least now she was entertaining other possibilities. 

"So Rory," he said, deciding to lighten the moment. His heart felt a little lighter, so why not have some fun? Assuming a manner of bored nonchalance, he joshed her, "You don't think you'd call Dean your boyfriend… Finally succumbed to my charms, huh?"

"Well I don't know," she teased. "I've met some pretty hot Washington guys."

"None as hot as me, I hope. I mean: I'm burning _up_, over here!" he teased back.

She laughed. "Nope, none as hot as you," she conceded in good fun.

"Good. I can relax then," he said, laughing along. "I'm just teasing you, you know."

"I know," she answered warmly.

"So… I gotta go… douse myself or something. Talk to you later?"

"Yeah," came her sweet voice, "Talk to you later, Jess." And they said their goodbyes, in their now-typical drawn out style.

Jess hung up the phone with a smile. The distance between Rory and him had been significant when he was in New York. Now that she was in Washington, the distance was technically even greater. But Jess didn't mind. They were much closer this time.

***

On Saturday afternoon, Jess was listless. He couldn't fathom any homework just then, and he'd been reading so many history and science chapters that it was literally painful to hold a book in front of his eyes. Jess popped a CD in the stereo and cranked it as the drivingly melodic, yet heavily industrialized, sounds of Econoline Crush filled the living room.

Jess walked away from the stereo, singing along under his breath. Of course, it wouldn't have mattered if he'd sung out loud: Luke couldn't have heard him over the music anyway. _"…She says I'm the one she really wants… but I'll never be the one that she needs…"_ Jess hoped he had better luck than the pour sap in the song.

During one admittedly screechy part in the song, Luke turned down the stereo and exclaimed, "That's it! Jess, can't you do something _else_ today? The whole town's at that damn turkey-calling contest and this is the first Saturday in months that I _actually_ have the day off!"

"Geez! All _right_. But what would you have me do? There's nothing to do in this town. _I_ sure as hell ain't gonna compete in that stupid contest!"

"Why don't you go play basketball?"

"It's the weekend," Jess replied, as though that summed it all up.

"So? I'm not getting you."

"Dean's there."

Luke relaxed a little bit, recognition crossing his face. "Oh. You think it will cause trouble?"

"Don't know." He and Dean together on a basketball court? Who knew what would happen? No. It was best to avoid the court today. 

But then he reconsidered: maybe it wouldn't even matter. Maybe Dean was at the turkey-calling contest. He certainly _was_ a Class A turkey.

***

After much deliberation, Jess headed down to the basketball court. Upon his arrival, Jess discovered fortune was not on his side: Dean was there. And, was it his imagination, or was Dean acting like he owned the whole court? Jess decided to leave. He didn't need to tempt fate.

Before Jess could turn around and make his hasty getaway, however, Derek, who was also on the court that day, caught sight of him. And apparently Derek didn't know how much bad blood existed between Jess and Dean. "Hey Jess! You're just in time!" he called out.

Jess froze in his tracks. _Drat._ Now _everyone_ knew he was there. Much to Jess's disappointment, Dean caught the ball then, and the entire game ground to a halt. Reluctantly, Jess came closer.

Dean muttered. "What are _you _doing here?"

"I'm here to play. What does it look like?"

Dean attempted to stare him down but Jess returned the glare and held his ground. After a loaded moment, Dean relented. "Fine," he grumbled as he hurled the ball hard at Jess's chest.

Jess caught the ball easily, but not without taking a step backwards. He and Derek briefly shared a look - Derek's look of amazement meeting Jess's look of 'See what I mean?' - before Jess threw the ball back into play and the game resumed.

Dean and Jess steered away from each other for most of the game. On opposite teams, they both chose to play left wing, thus placing themselves on opposite edges of the court. And because of this, the game was going well for the most part. 

However, the generous comfort zone they had established lacked permanence. At one point, the boy checking Jess tripped and fell, and had to limp off to the sidelines. His team suddenly shorthanded, Dean had to take up the slack. In the heat of the moment, Jess and Dean found themselves head to head.

Jess had the ball and, with his back to Dean, he dribbled deftly, keeping it always out of the taller boy's reach. Dean's height gave him an advantage in the reaching and shooting departments but Jess's smaller frame gave him a greater sense of balance and agility. Faking an overhead shot, Jess was able to quickly duck under Dean's arm and pass the ball to Laird. Laird immediately tossed the ball and scored.

"Ha!" Jess cried in triumph, watching the ball sail cleanly through the net. 

Turning back towards Dean, as the play continued around them, Jess promptly received a deliberate push on the shoulders. The push was strong, but Jess recovered his balance easily. 

"Look, I'm _not_ your friend, Dean," Jess said in arrogant surprise, hatred welling up inside of him. "And I'm not trying to be. But you don't have to be hostile."

"Just stay away from Rory and we'll be fine," Dean replied acrimoniously.

"Sorry, Man, can't do it."

Dean gritted his teeth and let the comment slide as they both returned to the game still in progress. Jess - and it would seem Dean as well - decided to reinstate the unwritten rule of giving one another a wide berth.

*** 

Four days after the near-disastrous encounter with Dean on the basketball court, Jess walked into the diner, the door's bell jingling above his head. Lorelai was sitting at the counter. "Hey Good Guy," she said to him.

"Stop! Don't you ever stop?" Jess begged as he stepped over to the counter and dumped his books on top of it.

"Didn't Luke tell you? I'm physically incapable of stopping."

Luke, at the other end of the counter, looked up from the toaster and agreed matter-of-factly, "She is, you know."

Lorelai gave Jess a wide-eyed look, as if to say 'There. I told you so' and changed the subject. "So anyway, I was just telling Luke here, Rory's coming back home in a couple of days."

Jess knew. _Oh! Jess knew!_ He was both excited and nervous by the prospect. He and Rory had shared many conversations over the phone - in the end, talking to each other almost every day. Each conversation was more wonderful than the last; Jess felt they were getting closer all the time. 

Jess knew, however, that 'telephone' relationships were not the same as 'real-life' relationships. Rory's decision would not come over the phone. He had no idea what would happen when she returned to Stars Hollow. All he could do was hope for the best.

"Yeah. I know," Jess replied, pulling out a stool and sitting down a couple of place settings away from Rory's mother.

"You do? How? _How_ do you know?"

"Um…" Jess mumbled, his eyes taking on a wide-eyed look of terror. He had just assumed that Lorelai knew about his phone calls with Rory. But Lorelai was looking at him coldly, eyes piercing and frown twitching. She didn't know. He felt sick as he realized he'd blown Rory's cover after all.

All of a sudden she let out a peal of laughter. "I'm just _kidding_, Jess! I know you and Rory have been talking on the phone!"

Jess let out a shaky breath. "You got some sort of twisted sense of humour there," he muttered. "I like it."

***

PLEASE REVIEW! THANKS.


	8. Part 3 1 : Homeward Bound

RETURNING HOME, PART THREE

CHAPTER ONE. HOMEWARD BOUND

***

Jess was off-duty that day but he hung around by the diner's cash register, taking money and handing out change when warranted. He was just killing time. Rory was coming back to town that evening and she had mentioned that, after her house, Luke's would be her first stop. Jess would, of course, be there when she arrived.

He was sitting on a stool that he'd brought around to the back of the counter, a paperback in hand. The reading was interesting, but even still, for the last hour or so, every time he heard the dingle of the door opening, he would look up from his book. It was the supper rush. Jess was looking up so much, that he had only read two pages since he'd been sitting there.

With new resolve, he focused on his book and purposely ignored the next few dingles.

"Hey there, stranger," he heard a sweet voice say.

_Oh my God,_ he thought, his body finally succumbing to the jittery nerves he'd been suppressing. He looked up from his book. Rory, looking cuter than he had ever seen her, was standing sideways at the counter, leaning on one elbow and looking across at him over her shoulder. Her hair, perhaps a little longer than he remembered, was pulled back at the sides and curled up at the ends. Her cheeks were a beautiful light shade of burgundy and they matched her dark form-fitting sweater. "Hey yourself," he rumbled with a grin.

Lorelai, who had just entered the diner after Rory, came up to the counter as well. "Quit ogling my daughter, Mariano!" she said good-naturedly. "You want to stay on my good side, you will not ogle!"

"Tell her to quit looking so good then," he came back lightly, but inside, he chastised himself for having been caught in the act by her mother. He _did_ want to stay on Lorelai's good side.

Rory laughed abashedly and sat down on a stool as Lorelai grunted and rolled her eyes.

Just then Luke waltzed out of the kitchen, carrying a plate. "Rory!" he cried, the plate's destination forgotten.

"Luke! Hi!" Rory replied, hopping up from the stool again and rushing over to give him a hug. The two embraced affectionately, as a father and daughter might. 

Jess and Lorelai were watching as Kirk, who was also sitting at the counter, tapped Luke on the shoulder and interrupted their hug. "Is that my tuna melt?" he asked, referring to the plate still in Luke's hand.

Sighing and rolling his eyes, Luke broke off the hug and passed the plate to Kirk. "Yes, Kirk. Sorry," he said gruffly before turning back to Rory. "How are you? How was your trip?"

Rory returned to her stool and sat down. "It was good Luke. It made me the vice-president I am today! Or _will be_ in a couple of weeks anyway," she said before launching into a brief overview of her stay in Washington, D.C. 

Jess closed his book, tossed it down beside the till, and pulled his stool closer to the counter so that he was sitting directly across from the Gilmores. Luke came around to the back of the counter and stood beside him. Both men were listening to Rory with rapt attention.

During one break in the conversation, Luke took notice of Jess sitting there and asked him, "Shouldn't you be working?"

"Hello. Day off."

"Oh. Right. I guess that mean's _I'm _working today. So," Luke turned back to Rory contentedly, clapping his hands together. "What can I get you two? _Besides_ coffee," he added, looking pointedly at Lorelai as the woman opened her mouth to speak.

"Well, Luke. Coffee _does _sound good right about now," Rory pitched in.

Luke nodded his head agreeably. "For _you_, I've got coffee. For _Lorelai_, no. I know she's already had too much today." 

"How do you know _I_ haven't had too much today?" Rory inquired.

"_Have_ you?"

Rory's eyes grew very large and innocent, almost resembling a deer caught in headlights. "No," she said seriously, but not at all believably. 

Luke raised an eyebrow. "Well… It _is_ your first day back," he grumbled, turning around to pick up the pot and pour a cup for Rory. When he'd finished that, Lorelai reached for the pot but he pulled it away in time. "And to eat?"

"Hmm," thought Rory. "I'm thinking chilli fries… And a chocolate sundae for dessert! No, actually, bring the sundae out at the same time."

"You're kidding," Jess piped up.

"Nope, not kidding," Rory replied, turning her attention to Jess once more, smiling and sharing a sweet but smug look with him.

"Hey. That sounds good," added Lorelai, eyeing the coffee pot safely in Luke's hands one last time. "Make that two." 

Jess momentarily broke away from Rory's satisfying gaze to notice Lorelai switch gears and surreptitiously reach for Rory's coffee cup. With his eyes, Jess pointed this out to Rory, who, smiling, smacked her mother's hand away and moved the cup a foot and a half to the left.

Luke argued. "Chilli fries and ice cream? You eat like that; it'll send you to an early grave. I can't serve you that."

"Sure you can," Lorelai replied. "You're the inimitable-"

"Incomparable," Rory broke in.

"One-and-_only_ Luke_ Danes_!" Lorelai finished, the eternal quest for coffee momentarily set aside. She'd taken up the cause for junk food instead.

"You can do anything you put your mind to Luke," Rory added.

Taking two napkins out the dispenser, Lorelai suddenly threw her hands into the air, brandishing the napkins as pom poms. "Luke! Luke! He's our man!" she breathed in a girlish voice.

"If he can't do it, _no one_ can!" Rory chimed in, laughing. 

The two boisterous women hopped from their stools and caused a scene right there in the diner, in the end falling into each other's arms for a giddy hug. A number of patrons stopped to watch the show, forks halfway to mouths, and a sprinkling of laughter was heard throughout. From what Jess could tell, revealed by the women's outrageous behaviour, a Gilmore reunion was an experience to be treasured.

Luke opened his mouth as if to say something but no sound came out. Rory and Lorelai were surveying him with identical grins of rapt expectancy. Jess snickered to watch the whole procession. _Luke, Luke, Luke,_ he thought. With the back of his hand, he reached over, pushed Luke's jaw closed and gave the older man a condescending pat on the cheek. No one, least of all Luke, could compete with the Gilmore girls reunited.

Wordlessly and still apparently in a daze, Luke turned to head back to the kitchen, coffee pot still in hand.

"Hey! Leave the pot!" Lorelai instructed.

"You make me tired," he stated as he placed the coffee pot on the counter and continued to the kitchen, no doubt, Jess guessed, to make up a batch of chilli fries and ice cream.

***

A short while later, Rory was revealing more about her trip to Washington in between mouthfuls of chilli fries, which, due to the thawing properties of chocolate sundaes, she and Lorelai had chosen to eat as dessert instead of as the main course. "Oh my God. I have to tell you," Rory exclaimed to Lorelai and Jess, as a thought occurred to her. "Paris really outdid herself this time. You just wouldn't believe it. A couple of days ago, Congressman Daigle came in to give a presentation on leadership roles. His speech was really good, by the way. He's really well spoken," she added parenthetically. 

"Anyway at the end of his speech he asked if anyone had any questions about the presentation, and Paris, who was sitting right beside me, stood up and totally _denounced_ Congressman Daigle's whole stand on the SRIGA issue, right in front of the whole auditorium! I mean, that wasn't even the _subject_ of his presentation! It was totally out of left field. You should've seen the look on his face. He, like, turned all purple… I mean, I was laughing despite myself, even thought I felt bad for it."

Lorelai shook her head and murmured, "That girl is incredible." Jess, chuckling, had to agree. He could fully picture Paris standing up in front of an entire lecture hall to spout opinions in an air of commanding self-assurance.

"Infuriatingly so," Rory concurred. "Paris did make some really valid points though, naturally, and the two of them sparred for about ten minutes. I gotta hand it to him, he knows his platform down pat and it only took him a second or so to switch gears." Rory turned to look at her mother. "You know, after their debate, I wasn't even sure which side I was on; both their arguments were that strong."

After the Gilmores had polished off their meals - with Luke eyeing their emptying coffee cups and plates in distress, every time he came out of the kitchen - the conversation slowed a bit. Rory took the opportunity to turn to Jess, "Um. Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Ooooh!" said Lorelai in mock-teasing annoyance, lifting her hands up and wiggling her fingers beside her face.

"Sure. Where?" Jess asked, ignoring Lorelai's antics.

"Let's go for a walk. Mom, I'll meet you back at the house later OK?"

"Sure Hon," she replied, taking another sip of coffee, as Rory led Jess out of the diner, into the fading light of the evening. The two crossed the street to the town square, walking side by side in equal postures of hands in pockets. 

"So, you heard all about my summer," Rory stated. "What did _you_ do this summer?"

"Oh you know: tried to stay awake in _class_, tried to stay awake doing _homework_, tried to stay awake studying for _tests_. You know how it is."

"Sure," she replied as their feet hit the grass on the other side of the street.

"_Wait_ a minute! What am I saying? _You_ don't know how it is. You're so hopped up on caffeine, you probably don't even sleep at _night_!"

"No. I do."

"You probably glow in the dark!"

"Jess!" she cried, laughing. "I sleep. I have a very high tolerance level. It's genetic."

"I guess!" he agreed. A moment later they were sitting side by side in the gazebo.

"Come on," Rory begged. "You must have done _something_ else this summer."

"Not anything you don't already know: school, work, basketball." 

"Not anything?"

Jess looked at her and grinned. "Well we didn't exactly lose touch while you were gone. We've got the phone bills to prove it."

She chuckled and met his gaze. "You're right. I'm glad we were able to talk so much this summer. I really did miss you… Your friendship - you - mean a lot to me."

Jess swallowed and looked down at the gazebo's wooden floor. He was _just gonna_ have to kiss her. So then, playfully, Jess whistled through his teeth, turning his attention innocently skyward. In a fluid movement, he used his hands to lift himself up and slide right beside her on the bench. Once close to her, he tilted his face to her slyly, eyes twinkling. Outwardly, he'd adopted an air of comedic relief, but inside he was really quite serious.

"Smooth." Rory chuckled warmly as her eyes fluttered downward shyly, but she didn't move away. She stopped him by saying, "Jess, you should know… I'm going over to see Dean tonight." 

Jess let his breath out in a whoosh, but the shell of a smile never left his face. "I figured," he said. Jess wasn't the least bit surprised; he'd been prepared for the inevitability. At least she'd seen Jess first.

Rory just tilted her head to the side and looked down at her hands intently, as though scraping dirt out from under her fingernails was of the utmost importance. Jess noticed she wasn't wearing Dean's bracelet and it heartened him. "I _have_ to see him."

"I know," he said, teasing her quietly. "You have to dump his ass _in person_." He couldn't believe he'd actually said it out loud. He stifled a laugh.

She turned to him, looking him in the eyes. Amused outrage was reflected on her smiling face and his laugh burst forth. "Come on, Jess. Dean has some very redeeming qualities."

"What, like a coupon? You can redeem him for goods and services?"

"Jess!"

"What? Cash and prizes?" he came back seriously. Rory smacked him on the ribs and he laughed again. "OK… No Dean jokes." Jess's voice softened. "I'm sure Dean's a… gleh," he stopped himself. He'd been about to say 'great guy' but his tongue gagged at the notion, his body retched. "I'm sure he's fine."

She shook her head in amusement. "You're incredible."

"Hmmm… Good sign," he murmured, taking it as a compliment, even though he knew she'd meant it in exasperation. "Rory," he said, becoming serious again. "You do what you have to do."

"OK," she replied, nodding as she smirked at him. She grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him in for a quick but firm kiss, once again catching him totally off guard. Jess closed his eyes at the pleasurable friction her lips created. 

Releasing him, she smiled. "Goodnight, Jess." And with that, she headed off into the night.

She was already a good fifteen feet away from him before he caught his breath. "You gonna break up with him?" he called after her, his heart beating fast.

"We'll see," she called over her shoulder mysteriously.

"Nine out of ten doctors recommend it!"

She spun around to face him again, still walking backwards and smile glowing. Then with a bubbly laugh and a gleeful skyward glance, she turned away again and continued across the lawn.

***

The next day, as Jess was stepping out of the bookstore, he saw Rory turn a corner across the street. She hadn't noticed him. Jess picked up his pace and followed her, meaning to ask her what had happened with Dean the night before.

As Jess came around the building that Rory had disappeared behind, Jess found out she was not alone. Dean was there as well. Jess whirled around and slipped back to the far side of the building, putting his back against the wall. He was breathing heavily. A moment later he chuckled at himself. He was acting like a jewel thief. A pathetic one at that.

Jess relaxed and peeked back around the side of the building. Rory and Dean were crossing the street now, heading towards the gazebo, the same spot where Rory had kissed Jess the night before. Jess stayed put, observing them from a safe distance. The two sat down for quite a while, talking. After a while, Dean put his arm around her shoulders.

_Crap,_ Jess thought. _Why am I watching this? I don't need to watch this!_ Just as Jess was about to turn around, however, he saw, out of the corner of his eye, Rory shrug Dean's arm off her shoulders. Jess's head snapped back to attention, focussing once more on the action at the gazebo. It was getting interesting.

Rory turned around on the bench to face Dean. The two of them were talking still, too far away to be heard. A short time later, Dean jumped up from the bench. 

Dean actually spoke loud enough, then, for his voice to carry itself all the way to Jess's ears, although Jess couldn't make out what the words were. Dean seemed agitated. They both seemed upset. Jess watched as Rory stood up, took hold of Dean's hand, and gently pulled him back to the bench. As the two sat for a while longer, they appeared just as they had before, only, this time, Jess couldn't tear his eyes away. His heart was pounding and he leaned up against the building for support.

Dean didn't put his arm around her again, but before getting up to leave, alone, he did kiss Rory on the lips. The suspense was killing Jess. Had they broken up? Jess wanted to go over to Rory and ask her right away, but Dean was coming back across to Jess's side of the street. Not wanting to be seen there, Jess decided to make himself scarce. 

When Jess went looking for Rory later that day, she was nowhere to be found.

***

Late the next afternoon, Luke rolled his eyes and said, "Hey, why don't you go into Hartford tonight? Get outta my hair. I don't know; call Derek, go see a movie. You can take my truck."

Jess sighed. He knew that he'd been bugging Luke with his attitude. Jess had had a short fuse all day. All he'd been able to think about for the last 3 days was Rory, culminating in the scene he'd witnessed the day before at the gazebo. He still hadn't talked to her. 

Yesterday evening, he'd decided to just wait it out, let her come to him. But the wait was making him irritable. Now Luke was so sick of him, he was actually kicking him out. "OK! OK!" Jess said as Luke all but tossed his truck keys and Jess's jacket at him. 

"Make sure you're back by nine-thirty to help me close up."

"Yeah, yeah." _Nine-thirty! Yee-haw. Fun night out, _he thought. But he picked up the phone and gave Derek a call. He could use a night out, however short-lived it would be.

Fifteen minutes later, he and Derek were picking up Neil and Laird in Luke's truck. The other two climbed into the back of the extended cab, and then the four of them headed into Hartford.

*** 

"Sorry I have to cut this so short, guys," Jess said about three hours later, as they were cruising back down the freeway, the truck cutting a sleek line through the night, its interior lighting up with every streetlight they passed. "For some reason Luke needs me back at the diner tonight. Maybe Caesar had to leave early or something."

"S'OK, Man. We understand completely," replied Derek as the other two echoed in agreement and Jess signalled and pulled onto the off ramp leading to Stars Hollow. "Besides, we can come in the diner for a while."

"OK," Jess agreed. The four of them had actually had a pretty good time at the movies that night. Jess had suggested something from the action/adventure genre and the others had readily agreed. As it turned out, the movie had been very good and Jess had had a blast. The other guys, who were apparently in a partying mood, were being very good about having to head home so early.

Arriving, Jess pulled the truck into the parking lot behind the diner and all four of them hopped out. Jess flipped through Luke's keys, looking for the one that unlocked the diner's back door. _That's funny. Luke took that key off the ring,_ he thought. "Come on. We have to use the front door," he said to his friends.

When the four walked around to the front, Jess noticed the lights were off in the diner. "What the _hell_! Luke closed up early! Jerk," he muttered good-humouredly but slightly miffed, "Sorry guys, guess I _coulda_ stayed out later after all." Jess had really wanted to.

"Not a problem, Man. We'll just hang out. We have the diner all to ourselves," said Derek. Laird snickered then and Neil smacked him on the arm. Jess looked at them strangely for a beat, but let their oddness slide and proceeded to unlock the door.

As Jess walked inside, the lights suddenly burned bright. "Surprise!" shrieked a number of people, as they all popped out of the woodwork. Jess nearly jumped out of his skin. "Happy birthday, Jess!" chorused Luke and Rory, as they came over to give him hugs. Jess received slaps on the back from his friends behind him and more birthday greetings all around.

In shock, Jess checked the date on his watch. Sure enough, it was his birthday. "It's my birthday," he admitted bashfully to everybody's laughter. He couldn't believe it, but he'd actually forgotten about his birthday until that very moment. But then again, his parents had never been much for throwing him parties; he'd basically grown up not celebrating his birthdays, barely even recognizing their occurrence at all. Besides, he'd had so much else on his mind lately.

Lorelai broke into his thoughts, "Hey Jess. Happy Birthday," she said, patting him somewhat awkwardly on the shoulder. "You remember Sookie and Jackson."

"Yeah. The fruit people. Hey," Jess replied pleasantly as Lorelai's friends offered their birthday greetings. Jess looked around. Caesar, Rory's friend Lane, Bobby and a couple other guys from the basketball court were there as well. It was a small crowd but they created a warm reception. Someone had even hung a banner across the back wall.

Lane came up to him then. "Hey, Jess. I can't stay, but I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday. My mom doesn't know I'm out."

Jess looked at her strangely. "Oh. Short party."

"Short, but the look on your face was worth it." The girl turned to Rory and added. "See ya Rory, I have to go climb in my window now."

"Godspeed, Girlfriend," came Rory's amiable response as she gave her a hug. "Thanks for coming." After Lane dashed out of the diner, Rory met Jess's confused expression and added, "Strict mother issues."

"Ah," Jess murmured.

Lorelai pushed Jess away from the door then, further into the diner. "Let's get the party started, Birthday Boy."

"Don't you dare sing 'Happy Birthday' to me," Jess said to her, embarrassed.

"But Luke baked you a cake and-" Lorelai broke off momentarily. "Oops, I guess I wasn't supposed to let that slip out. Oh well. He _did_. And how can you eat cake if we don't sing? You can't eat cake if we don't sing."

"You can't eat cake if we don't sing," Sookie echoed and Rory agreed.

"Sure I-" uttered Jess, before Lorelai interrupted him.

"No! It's a universal impossibility! And I _need_ chocolate and I _must_ have some of your cake, and it wouldn't be right for _me_ to eat your cake if you can't have any. So we _have_ to sing 'Happy Birthday' to you, so that _I_ can have cake. Luke, go get the cake!"

Jess laughed. She'd been hitting the coffee again, obviously. "All right. All right." 

Luke brought out the cake and, true to their word, Lorelai, Sookie and Rory broke out into song. The others joined in, singing in various volumes of off-keyedness. Derek didn't sing. He was too busy laughing at Jess's mortification.

The cake they presented to him was large and round with dark chocolate frosting. Around the edge, in slim white piping, was a Greek Key pattern of angular spirals and eighteen flickering candles. Gracing the centre, in more white piping, was a simple printed message.

_'A birthday is the 1st  
day of another 365-day  
journey around the sun.  
Enjoy the trip._

Happy Birthday Jess.'

Jess was touched. It was the most unique cake he had ever seen. It was obvious that someone had put a lot of effort into decorating it. "Ah… Rory decorated this," he smiled, catching her gaze.

Luke turned to him. "Of course she did, if it were up to me, you'd get the standard issue icing and sprinkles."

"I hope you like it," Rory admitted shyly, stepping forward. Rory looked especially beautiful that evening. She wore blue jeans and a summery patchwork sweater, the sleeves so long they covered the palms of her hands. Her hair was whisked back from her face by a matching narrow bandana and her cheeks were rosy. 

As she stood there before him, elbows straight, arms wound once around each other and hands clasped, she had an endearingly hopeful expression on her face. "Rory I _love_ the cake," Jess enthused. "It's great. I like the spirals."

"I thought you might," she said. "You didn't exactly strike me as the rosette and swirls type."

Lorelai broke in, "Come on! Blow out the candles. I need chocolate."

With a chuckle, Jess gave in and took part in the festivities. When cake had been eaten, and birthday cards given, Rory pulled Jess aside. "Jess, I wanted to get you something besides the card, but I have to admit, I didn't have the slightest idea what to get you. I mean, I _did. _I had something all picked out, but then Lane reminded me how important a gift's message to the other person is and… well I thought maybe I could take you out for dinner, in Hartford, maybe. If you'd like."

Jess smiled and raised an eyebrow. "Dean won't mind?"

Rory, holding his gaze steadily, spoke in unwavering contentment. "Dean has no say in the matter. He and I broke up."

Jess gulped and then grinned at her slyly. "It _is_ a happy birthday then, isn't it?" he said, to which she blushed. "You OK?"

"Better than OK," she nodded. The two looked at each other a while, lost in a powerful spell. Any moment now, alone in the world, they would kiss…

Just then, Lorelai grabbed Jess by the upper arm and pulled him to the back of the room. Jess was a mixture of surprise and disappointment, as he glanced back at an equally startled but grinning Rory. Jess was reminded that they weren't _actually_ alone after all. 

The interruption was for the best though, he decided. He'd rather kiss Rory in private anyway.

Jess tried to put all thoughts of Rory's lips out of his mind and focus on what her mother was telling him. "I like you now, Ponyboy," she was saying, her voice stern but not totally without warmth. "But don't get me wrong: you hurt my daughter and I'll have you whacked! Got it?"

"Capisce, oh Boss of Bosses," Jess replied.

Lorelai scowled. "I'm very serious."

"So am I."

Lorelai looked hard at him, gauging his sincerity, then nodded and released her vice-like grip on his arm. "Luke says your mother phoned to wish you a happy birthday," she advised, some semblance of a smile appearing on her face. "Don't forget to phone her back."

Jess smiled. "Wouldn't dream of it."

***

"Luke, don't let him take down the banner," Lorelai called over her shoulder as she followed her fellow partygoers out the door, later that night. 

Rory stayed behind to help Luke with the clean up. When Jess made a move to clear off a table, Rory stopped him forcefully, "Don't touch that! It's your birthday."

"OK! OK! I know my place," Jess conceded, backing off with a hasty grin.

"Luke," Rory said, still holding Jess's amused stare. "I'm going to wrap up the rest of this cake, all right?"

"Plastic wrap is above the sink," Luke replied, as he stacked some dishes in a plastic tub.

Once Rory left with the cake, Jess stated, "I'm taking down the banner," and slid his chair over to the wall.

"Are you sure?" Luke asked. "It would piss Taylor _right_ off if he knew the only time I let the diner be decorated is for your birthday."

Jess laughed. "Yeah. That _is_ a perk… But I'm gonna take it down."

"OK," Luke shrugged.

Jess stood up on the chair and spoke again. "You knew what you were doing when you kicked me out of the apartment today."

"Yeah, I did."

"You threw me a party," Jess added, turning back to glance at his uncle.

Luke looked up at him and smiled bashfully. "Yeah well. It's what you do for family."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

"So… I'm eighteen," Jess hinted with a touch of apprehension.

"Yup."

"I guess I don't need a legal guardian anymore."

"Nope."

"So… you want me to move out or something?"

Luke dumped another dish in the tub and looked at Jess with an exasperated expression. "Jess, do you have _any_ idea how much it cost to expand that apartment?" he said, first pointing upstairs, then pointing at Jess for effect. "No. You're staying till your room is good and paid for."

Jess smirked. Luke's exasperation was just for show, he knew. Jess was beginning to realize that 'You're staying till your room is good and paid for' in Luke-speak meant 'I'd miss you if you left'. 

***

After the diner had been returned to its original state of cleanliness, Rory and Jess bid Luke a good night and headed over to the gazebo. 

"Any particular _reason_ you broke up with Dean?" Jess said, fishing for a compliment as the two of them stood facing one another in the gazebo.

"Hmmm… no," she said sweetly.

"Uh-huh." Jess smirked. He didn't buy her innocent act for a single second. _Damn! _he thought with awe-filled desire.

Rory gazed up at the wooden planked ceiling, her eyes dancing with delight. She was rocking back and forth on her heels, feigning innocence. "Nope. No reason at all." That was the precise moment that Jess pulled her into his arms and kissed her, for once beating her to the punch.

When their kiss broke off a while later, Jess held her loosely in his arms, relishing the light-headed, heavy-lidded expression on her face. "You're sure you're all right about… Dean?"

"Yeah," she said sincerely and Jess knew he could believe her. "The break up was a long time coming. I've thought about that all summer."

"I've thought about this all _year_."

"We haven't even _known_ each other a year," she giggled.

"Hmm, interesting paradox." He shot her a look that was deeply thoughtful, though thoroughly farced, as though assessing the conundrum. "What does your mom think about all this?"

"She's taking it very well. Actually I was kinda surprised. Before I left for D.C., I was pretty sure she thought you were the anti-Christ. What _happened_ while I was away?"

"You got me."

"No really."

Jess shrugged. "I helped her and Luke patch things up."

Rory grinned and moved to sit down on the bench. Jess followed as Rory stuck her hands in her pockets again and spoke, "Thanks. It's horrible when they're fighting." 

"Tell me about it."

"They totally want each other," she said, tracing one of the floor planks with her sneaker-clad toe.

"Yeah. Kinda like us." Jess put his arm behind her on the backrest. She leaned into it.

"She asked me if it was infatuation between us."

"Infatuation? That would imply that this," he gestured the space between them and spoke earnestly. "Whatever _this_ may be, is only physical. I would have to say that a _lot_ of it is intellectual."

"I concur," she replied, giving a studious nod of her head.

"Although there _is_ a definite physical aspect." Jess gently pushed her hair away from her neck. The delicate skin exposed to him in the process beckoned. Slowly, Jess drew closer to her, placing a string of feathery kisses down the side of her neck.

"Yeah," Rory murmured, shivering in his arms. "My grandparents are _so_ going to hate you."

"Oh. Good," he joked. Jess was enjoying the response he was getting from her, so he continued to drop kisses, focussing now on her jaw line. "As long as _you _like me, I'm good."

"Guess you'll be good for a long time," Rory threw back, adjusting her posture so that his lips fell on hers. She placed a hand on his thigh as the other one traced lazy circles up and down his neck. The feeling was incredible, and it drew Jess deeper into the kiss.

A little while later, a moan escaped her lips and set his body afire. She pulled back slightly, letting the kisses taper off. "It's kinda late," she began warmly. "I guess I should really be getting home." She kissed him one last time.

Jess sighed, but remained happy. Clearing his throat, he collected himself. He was glad at least one of them was keeping their wits about them. "I guess so. Wouldn't want you to turn into a pumpkin."

"Will you walk me home?"

"Oh _yeah_," Jess assured her with ardent mockery. "'Cause Stars Hollow really _is_ the mean streets!"

*** 

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Thanks to Jamie for the whole Paris/Congressman Daigle debate bit. That was her idea that I ran with. Please note that I have no idea about American politics and, if there actually _is_ a Congressman Daigle or if there actually _is_ a SRIGA issue, or if Congressmen actually _do_ have 'platforms' it's a total fluke and coincidence that I happened to write about it!

OK, did the birthday scene surprise anyone or was it totally obvious that something like that was going to happen?

Stay tuned for more guys. Please review! Thanks.


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